Tag Archives: autism

Why I’m not going to answer your autism question

I don’t get any question on this blog itself. I am lucky if I get one comment a year. But I follow many autism groups on facebook and other places and I am trying to get more out there.

But I have noticed a trend in what passes for ‘questions’ in these groups and pages.

I do answer the odd question if its a good one. But some I have given up because I just don’t have time and energy anymore.

  1. Lets talk about your spelling

I understand a few spelling mistakes if they aren’t completely atrocious. I’m writing this blog post and just posted an entire novel onto Wattpad. I can barely spell myself. (That being said, if there is any mention of my spelling in the comments, your only response will be STFU. Irrelevant)

But you have just barged into an autism group blithering about some condition called ‘assburgers’. WTF is that??? What do you expect us to know about it? This is an autism page, not a page for rude sandwiches.

If it was perhaps A-S-P-E-R-G-E-R-S you were talking about: If it is you or your child that has been diagnosed with it, you should know how to spell it by now as it should be written down somewhere. But then again, you posted about ‘assburgers’ in a group where the correct spelling of the condition can be found in the title of the group. You have no excuse. It’s a mans last name FFS.

Also I will remind you of all the bullying autistics go though in there entire childhood (and then what continues on into adulthood, lets be honest). Guess which slur is used against children with AsPergers? Yup. And you’ve just slapped that very slur into a facebook post for AsPPPPPergers. Thanks for the PTSD flashback, we really appreciate it. That might be why you’re getting radio silence in response to your question.

So I won’t be answering your question because I doubt that you can even read it. I will leave it to someone who has the time to use really short words.

  1. TMI.

I’m not answering your question because I haven’t got to it yet, as it is buried under pages and pages of TMI, and have yet to even see how it relates to your question.

We get all different kinds of oversharing vomit on our autism pages. We autistics are well know for our long-winded oversharing skills.

This isn’t about the autistics that overshare.

As there is one very special kind of TMI I have reserved this entry on the list for.

Why why why why OH WHY do I need to read pages of very detailed, graphic descriptions of your child TAKING A SHIT???

Why do we need to read this?

Why does your child need this information plastered all over autism groups/pages/blogs?

And why so detailed about every aspect of a child taking a dump?

Even when you’ve cowardly hidden behind ‘Anonymous’ but still faaaaaaaaa!

Is even worse when it is your blog post. I’m sorry, I have to say it. You do not write an autism blog. You write glorified child fetish porn. You aren’t asking a question. There is actually something dodgy going on here.

So I am not answering your question because I suspect it is just pedophilic poo fetish porn with a question mark slapped on the end of it, not a question. And everyone who read it just vomited, so if you did intend for it to be a question, you don’t deserve an answer. You on your own.

Speaking of TMI and (and your obvious crap fetish)

  1. You have mistaken this page/group as a GP office

True there will be a few actual GPs reading your ‘question’. Some of which may also be autistic. But if you are living in a first world country, you know where to find a GP. And in most cases doctor visits for children are completely free.

People in a facebook group/forum don’t have the time/enough information/qualifications to diagnose and treat everything your child has that is irrelevant to autism.

GO TO YOUR GP.

And speaking of that…

  1. Your question is completely and utterly irrelevant to autism

(blinks) …sorry what do you expect a page dedicated to autism to like…do…about your problem that is completely irrelevant to autism?

Go re-read 2 and 3.

Autism isn’t a poo disease. It’s not a cough. It’s not a mental illness. It’s not a broken leg.

GO. TO. A. GP.

  1. Someone in the situation you have described needs urgent, emergency mental help yesterday, and it isn’t your child

Looking at the small amount of information you have made available about your situation…your autistic loved one is reacting in a way that would be completely natural and normal even for a neurotypical.

However, your post is paragraphs and paragraphs of shrieking about this and that what the autistic has done, then blaming your reactions and behaviors on the autistic.

Eww.

This is called gaslighting.

THIS. IS. ABUSE.

GET. HELP. NOW.

But leave the autistic at home. Because it is not them that needs urgent, emergency mental help. Honeybunn, if you are slow enough to not have figured it out already, its you. And if that is the case, that poor mental health professional has a lot of hard work ahead of them.

After all that, the autistic may need mental help themselves anyway, to get over the abuse they have suffered from you. They may need help in actually leaving you.

For the sake of the autistic.

And for those who take offense: Don’t blame your audience for actually seeing all the red flags in your so called ‘question’. We’re autistic, not stupid.

  1. Your post is basically just bullying with a question mark slapped on the end of it

Don’t complain when you get banned.

Read 1. again.

Next.

  1. You’re trying to write a novel

Which isn’t a bad idea. I would love to publish my novel myself. But maybe try another platform besides dumping the entire thing into a FB post.

We could answer your question, but it took us two days to read it. Maybe come back to us when you’ve shortened it a bit?

This is probably related to the oversharing that I mentioned before,

  1. We aren’t your kindergarten teachers, we’re not going to hold your hand

Everyone on the page/group has lives of their own. None of them really have time to break out the crayons or hold your hand through a basic google ‘I’m feeling lucky’ search.

We get all sorts of interesting questions and discussions on these pages (if its boring, its not an autism page!).

Some questions are extremely important. Perhaps there is an autistic teenager who might have zero support in their real life, waiting decades for the medical community to stop gaslighting them and give them the diagnosis they desperately need, came to the online community to find the first friends they have ever had. They seek to further understand how autism affects them, where to get the support for the countless mental illnesses they have collected trying to cope their entire life without any support, wanting to know if they are alone in their self harm and depression issues.

But then they are buried under piles of

What is autism?

What is autism?

What is autism?

What is autism?

What is autism?

What is autism?

What is autism?

What is autism?

What is autism?

And once again these poor kids are abandoned and ignored, in favor of constantly answering the same boring question over and over. And thus there is no real discussion anymore.

Some communities will have a FAQ. Read them.

And if its already on the FAQ, don’t be surprised if your question gets ignored or even deleted as spam. People in the community don’t have time to answer them anymore,. That might be why its in the FAQ

It is 2017. We’ve had a black man in the whitehouse. We can talk to each other through video on a phone! Smallpox and polio is basically extinct. And what are you reading this on now? We have this amazing tool called the Internet, something my parents generation couldn’t even dream of when they were my age.

If learning about autism is important to you, do your own research. If you can read this, you already have the technology to do so! Some of your questions have been answered to death!

Thus, I can answer your question with a 2 second google. Something you are perfectly capable to do yourself. Or you can pay us.

  1. I suspect your question might be some kind of code for pedophiles and bleach enema cult members to use the forum/page as their own platform.

I don’t know if this is the actual case or not. But while writing some of the previous entries on the list I started to get suspicious.

I know people doing illegal crap can get away with it by using some kind of code in a public forum so they can find each other.

I use pedos and bleach enemists in this example because they are pretty much the same thing.

But yes, if we find something suspicious about your post, we won’t give you the answer you want.

 

And that is just 9 reasons your autism question might not be answered. And to the autistics out there: Just stop answering questions you don’t have time for! It only encourages them.

I could have done 10, but I suffer from a laziness specific to autism so I will finish this sentence tomorrow.

 

Bye Felicia.

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Autistics Can’t

I started this project for my own selfish reasons. I needed a reason to actually get up and do something. I needed a list of things I needed to achieve. I have been stagnant for about six or seven years and I desperately need a change.

I have named this list Autistics Can’t because it is mostly a list of very basic milestones. And I used Autism as an example because ‘can’t’ is the only word autistics and the disabled ever hear, regardless of whether they actually can or not. ‘Autistics’ and ‘can’t’ shouldn’t even be used in the same sentence.

So lets see if Autistics actually can’t do any of these things. The rules of this list is that it must be an ‘autistics can’t’ statement you have heard from or been told by someone else. The burden of proof should not be on autistics to disprove such a strawman argument. We expect to see evidence that we can’t do any of these things, signed by Hans Asperger himself. (If you have said evidence, please leave it in the comments.) But its still worth making a list of your own just for your own entertainment.

Continue reading

Should NTs park in Autistic Only Spaces?

Not actually what happened but only slightly based on a true story today. Sorry if its hard to follow. I hope it’s not too SJW, sorry not sorry if it is.
(There are issues in the SJW movement I find ‘problematic’, but in this situation I can kind of see where they are coming from.)
Table reserved for an Aspergers support group at exactly 2.30 (VERY clearly marked as Reserved, and what time)
Complete Random turns up at 2.40
“Hi, are you new? You seem a bit old for a group for Young Adults”
“No. Can I sit in your (reserved area) just because I’m a Speshul Snowflake?”
(Looks at neon ‘reserved’ sign in the shape of a massive sun explosion) “Ummm…This table is reserved. Are you with this reserved party?”
“But I’m Speshul for no reason and I sit here all the time.”
“Lol, nah. We come here every monday at the exact same time like clockwork. The exact same people come and they all order the exact same thing for themself every week. We live in a town so minuscule that I pass all my old teachers on the street DAILY and my mother said its ok to marry a second cousin. Mostly because the only single men in my town ARE second cousins. None of us have ever seen you before. So nah, you don’t ‘come here all the time’.”
“But can I still sit here? It’s apparently MY speshul place that I apparently own even when it’s reserved for a massive group?”
“This is a group for people with aspergers, and probably the one and only social outing AND emotional support for people who have been snubbed, ignored and purposefully prevented from participating in the human world around them. Why should we be expected to include YOU in a group NOT FOR YOU when people like you REFUSE to include us in a general society that is basically for everyone? The actual cafe staff themselves (which the entire group know personally, yes a pile of autistics all remember the first name of the boss and his dog and have met his grandson) reserved this table for us because we seem to have become part of the actual cafe, so much that one of us actually works here. You have not done a single thing for us, you are not friends with any of us and none of us would know you from Adam. It is a group for autistics, not a group for narcissists. Yes there is a massive difference.”
(In the RL true story this was literally the THIRD time this woman was told the word RESERVED. How many more times would you think one needs?)
In RL it wasn’t really that big of a deal TBH, and this post isn’t about the RL situation (true story!)
But it inspired me to write this novel length post about everything that has nothing to do with this conversation. lol
This isn’t even about today anymore I think today is a symptom of something else.
Do you believe we should include complete random people who have nothing to do with and contribute nothing to our social/support groups? Just so they can sit there and take up space because they’re speshul? Should we do this while our fellow autistic brothers and sisters all over the world are still excluded from everything just for being autistic? Sometimes even to the point where they are purposefully and illegally prevented from attending to school? Just because they are autistic?
Am I allowed to use the word hypocrisy? Or am I expected to shut my mouth so that you can have a place to park you arse in a place reserved for someone else who isn’t you? Why, just for clarification? Because you’re speshul? Oh, Ok. That’s a good enough reason I suppose. I’ll let the suffragettes, civil rights movements and the LGBTQ groups and entire disability community know. They all have to move from spaces reserved as support for them because you turned up and needed a place to park your arse and ignore them. Ok. And I’m not allowed to mention the word ‘Narcissism’? That would be offensive? Ok ok. Cool cool cool. Just to be clear.
If she had turned up at any other group she would have been asked questions like:
“Who the F are you? We’ve never seen you at our job which is throwing this Christmas Party for Employees Only”
“How did you know the deceased? We’ve never seen you before.”
“We’re looking for a girl to join our ‘fun times’. Which way do you swing?” (In that situation, honey you on your own. You got yourself in that situation, you can get youself out. We not saving you. The autistics have decided to watch from a distance with popcorn)
So is it a good idea to just turn up at a reserved table that isn’t for you and just park your fat behind down?
An autistic would get flak for doing that. They would get asked if they have even heard of social skills before. But autistics get flack for trying to be included in groups that are ‘for everyone’ anyway. So why is it ok for complete randoms to force themselves into our groups that aren’t made for them?
The woman who runs the group is not autistic herself but she is the mother of a young man with aspergers and runs an entire organization for young people with aspergers. A friend of the group who has Downs Syndrome was hanging out with us, which the woman running the group had a problem with as this was a group for Aspergers and an official organization so she wanted to keep the group as specifically autistic members only. Though we love out Downs friends anyway.
So if our amazing leader was here, do you think she should allow some random, complete stranger NT to park her fat arse in our Reserved table, to do nothing but take up space? And make no attempt to support our group?
If a FRIEND can’t join the group because he doesn’t have autism, why should we allow a complete stranger to force their way into a support group just because they are Speshul(tm)?
If we won’t let a FRIEND take up space, why should we let a complete stranger, who does nothing for the group, completely waste space for no reason?

Why should we include these speshul people when they have made sweet FA attempt to include us?

Now, for those Speshul people who might be reading this, do you have a seat that is actually reserved for you? Have you made sure? If you have not, you may leave this post to make sure and then come back. It should still be here when you get back, I can wait. Because you will need to be sitting down for this as it may come as an absolute shock to you. Here it is:
Not all autistics just want to exist in a monotonous day-to-day on the dole, locked up inside playing video games all day and never developing social skills. Some of us actually want a normal life.
Some of us would be happy with A job ANY job.
Some of us would be over the moon to get a second-hand, broken car.
Autistics just want what everyone else gets by just turning up, so why aren’t autistics getting those things?
For some autistics these groups are the only way they can gain enough confidence and social skills to physically start looking for jobs/boyfriends/accommodation/chocolate/whatever it is they want.
Some autistics who turn up at this group make their first ever friend while well into their late teens.
Some autistics turn up because its the only group who wanted them to turn up.
It might be the group that gave them their only facebook friends besides their parents and grandparents.
It might be the group that gave them an excuse to actually buy a phone because who would an autistic text before meeting all these people? Exactly!
These groups might be the only place they can even learn anything about their own autism. I am assuming that spending time in a social situation with a large number of autistics would give one a reasonable idea of what autistics are like when they are actually accepted in a social situation. Imagine a large number of autistics allowed to be themselves for probably the first time in their lives. A number of possibilities could happen. I’ll save that can of worms for another post.
And call an ambulance in advance because this might give you a heart attack:
All autistics are actual People, or at least we want to be. Some of us haven’t even been allowed to be.
This happened because your world forces us out. So why should we let you turn around from your space that you forced us out of for the entire reason that we are not ‘up to your standards’ and force your way into our space to park your arse and take up space reserved for only us, that we could use? When you have no intention to support us in problems you created, you just want a place to park your arse while there are plenty of seats in NT land?
Nothing against the NT/able bodied/majority/privileged community. We might actually invite us into our spaces because we actually really need your support.
If you slammed doors in our faces for stupid, bigoted, hateful, pointless reasons, why should we open doors to our spaces for you? One might recognize this pattern if they have been in an emotionally abusive relationship. Interesting that everyone in a minority group recognizes those patterns too. Hmmm.
The reason why I bought up ‘SJWs’ at the start was that they might recognize the discussion about spaces ect.
In the Real Life True Story Bro that inspired this post, this is not the first time our space has been wasted by the Common Red Breasted Garden Narcissist, while the Reserved sign was very clear, bright neon pink and complete with time of reservation. My town is literally collecting Freedom Bludgers (which refer to themselves as ‘Freedom Campers’) like flies. The Narcissism problem in Nelson is not new, though we tend to get most of our Narcissists through tourism.
And I hate to break it to you, but if neither you nor your small child has autism and you are not connected to the group, nor do you intend to support us beyond sitting there ignoring us, half an hour beyond the time our group officially starts as stated on the reservation sign, then sorry darling you don’t count as Young Adult Autistic. We can call a spade a spade and consider you as wasting space.
If you are capable of these levels of self absorption and want to call it a ‘mistake’ an blame it on anyone but you, you have revoked your right to take a dump on Autistics for the real social mistakes they can make when they are just trying to learn social skills. And most autistics get nothing out of these ‘social skills’ anyway. But they learn them to navigate the world so they can exist as a real person. And if they don’t need to do that they are doing it entirely FOR YOU so that they and you can have a sufficient social experience. To some autistics it might be the equivalent of learning a second language while the other person makes no attempt to learn about or even respect your culture. It might be nice to meet people half way sometimes. I myself learned it is a rather nice thing to do while I was learning social skills as an Autistic.
The story conclusion:
In before: “But there’s only three of you sitting there”
Lol, oh honey. At three oclock we are taking up all the couches around the Reserved table, plus another table over there. Some of us may even take up a table inside. This is not even all the YA Autistics in the city. This is not even the entire group, we have others that turn up every now and then and even others in other cities and even countries. When they actually to turn up they might want a seat too, just an assumption. Please tell me again how you are entitled to a space that won’t even fit our entire group on a normal day.
Please let me know if I’m too negative.

The Bogan Artist

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Crap Aspies say

This is my first “___ ___s say” video. I love these kinds of videos and I hope you enjoy this one. Some of this is me and some of it is my aspie friends. Well all of it is me kind of and some of it may not exactly be aspie traits…

 

The Autistics inner monologue

Monologue

I’m back on the topic of autism again. Yay! 🙂 And to prove my autism card I’ve been doing what auties do best, shutting everyone out to think of something interesting. Inner monologues. I’m assuming you have one, I know its a very common trait in autism. Non-verbal autistics can have really interesting ones. And now I really want to make a list of all the possible inner monologues found in autism, mostly to see how many I can come up with in no particular order. Disclaimer: All of these are probably different for everyone. I use ‘autistic’ to cover most if not all of the spectrum.

1. The default main voice

That one that everyone has. This description will be terrible since I’m convinced it’s different for everyone. You know that voice that is just whatever is going on at the time.

2. Pictures

Many auties describe their mind as ‘not thinking in words but in pictures’. Autistics such as Temple Grandon can be found in this category. She often describes it as when someone says something she sees an image in her head. For example when hearing the word ‘miracle’ she sees an image of Jesus. The movie based on her depicts this monologue personally.

3. Music

Many musical auties can have music in their head 24/7. Many talented music creators can even do entire compositions in their head. Some may not think in words but in music. There may be non-verbal autistics with great skill in music.

4. The animal monologue

This can also include 2 and 3. Basically an autistic human…with the thought process of a cat or something. Literally. It doesn’t take any effort for anyone with this monologue to know everything an animal is thinking about. Because like 2 there are no words in their inner monologue. Those with this monologue are more likely to have meltdowns due to too much human noise and crap. But they can make good pet owners (or pets for cats since no-one truly ‘owns’ a cat).

5. I hate you

Or any variant. One of my favorites, really lifts the general mood. This one is always 24/7. Often root cause of depressive states. Self explanatory.

6. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Some of my autie friends have mentioned this as their inner monologue. Another of my favorites. Also 24/7. I think I’ve had this a few times. Also self explanatory.

7. The Pink Floyd concert

Because it’s my favorite band. And also because some auties have described some kind of hippy rainbow thing of rainbows and sound and bubbles. Can also include 2 and 3. Maybe some of 6 but in a happy tone? If that’s possible?

I just use Pink Floyd as the title of this one since it’s the closest thing outside the autie that I can think of to describe it. Can also be called the Beatles or Hippy Sh**

Personally I am convinced that this could actually be another dimention.

8. The artist

Basically the process of creating without the need of a visual diary or an art journal. Some have access to a number of images in their mind (see 2)

Also possible in non-artists. No need for journals or planners or mindmaps.

This can even take seconds. Here I’ve come up with a theory that there may be no time in some autistic inner monologues.

9. The social monologue

This includes Social Scripting. Another one of my favorites and also 24/7 with anything social.

What do I have to say next? What is the correct response? Where should my eyes be? What position should my hands be in? What tone should this word be in? Should I do this? Should I have done that? What does that mean? Is this good? Is this bad? Are you over this monologue yet? Do you hate yourself yet? Do you want to kill yourself yet? Also includes 5. And also 6.

Often needs to be shut up when there are already other monologues going, especially 5 and 6. Which of course leads to a mute autie. This can also happen with there is no social scripting for something.

10. Films and TV shows (can also include theatre!)

Some auties can remember most of what they see. Probably one of the most fun monologues. Also includes 2 and 3. Unfortunate my one is only good for stupid TV advertisements or the occasional Monty Python skit 😦

11. Special interest

Most may have a monologue including something they’re interested in. This description is short as results may vary quite a lot. Were talking about interests here.

12. Nothing

13. Mine includes my novel series! An Epic Sci-fi fantasy set in 1980s NZ! Dragons and vampires! Last draft will be out soon! Looking for a publisher or an agent!

Sorry

13. All the ones I forgot

Leave a comment below if you can think of more.

 

If you have any one or two or three of these, you’re probably not autistic.

To get the official diagnosis one would have ALL the monologues listed. At the same time. Usually 24/7. And including #13.

No wonder we have so many problems.

 

What the Autistic Inner Monologue may not include:

– Things like what shall I have for tea tonight? (We decide on our best cooking when it gets to teatime. Toast!!!)

– Housewife stuff (I don’t know any of these ones because I tried and woke up two days later in hospital from mild brain damage. I am still single and childless.)

– Any of the answers to 9

– Anyone else inner monologue but their own (because that would be called telepathy, which isn’t even a natural occurrence in any human being, let alone auties. We’re autistic, not X-men)

– Sometimes sports (An autistic either likes sports or absolutely despises it. There is no in between.)

 

What is you’re Inner Monologue experience? Which Inner Monologues do you have? Leave a comment below.

The REAL Symptoms of Autism List!

Kid just been diagnosed with Autism/Aspergers/anything on the same spectrum? Just been diagnosed yourself? Read this too!

It’s time to throw out all the brochures! Burn all the books ‘recommended’ by ‘Autism Speaks’! Unsubscribe from terrible blogs! Why read those before you’ve read anything written by an actual autistic?? Here is something that will blow your mind! A list of symptoms of autism gathered and posted into a blog by someone that actually has the condition! Because chances are that someone who has the condition probably knows what all the symptoms are! Amazing right? What will they think of next!

And this is all completely free! You don’t have to do anything, just read it.

And if it isn’t a copypasta from this blog post, its probably a lie!

1. Autistics suffer every day!

Really? This is news to me! I had no idea I was suffering. Thank you for telling me what to feel! Before I was diagnosed I was happy. After I was diagnosed I was happy. But I know now that I was doing it wrong! Again, thank you for telling me 🙂

2. Autistics have no empathy

Yep. I love my cats. I love hanging out with disabled people, it makes them happy. I cried through Les Miserables. I cried through Whale Rider. I cry through most Disney movies. I cried through an episode of Baby LoonyToons. Oh wait hold on…

Methinks you need to learn the difference between the Autistic Spectrum and Psychopathic Personality Disorder!

3. Autistics are those little boys that you see on TV who’s entire existence is a tantrum

Oh wow! That’s amazing! That’s what autism is? Do they just disappear when they reach puberty? That’s some crazy science-fiction going on there! We should investigate that. Oh wait, I’m a girl though, and over half the Autistics I know are girls so…wat?

4. Autistics have no sense of humour

LOL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh sorry, were you serious?

5. Autistics don’t have any communication skills so you have to talk to them like a child

Really? This is news to me too. I mean every time someone tells me that their favorite colour is purple I always fail to magically know that ‘my favorite colour is purple’ really means ‘I want to eat socks for breakfast today’.

Or maybe you people should just stop blaming others for your own piss poor communication skills. It kind of makes you look like a toxic person that everyone is going to avoid.

And talking to a grown adult like a child? Yuck. I talk to people with intellectual disabilities like adults all the time. The non-verbal ones can understand me fine, and I can understand them fine too.

6. Autistics need to be in care 24/7, will be single and unemployed their entire lives

Ok. I’ll give you that one. I am in care 24/7. By my cat. All she really does is sit on me or steal my chair or leave dirty footprints all over the toilet seat but I can do the rest myself.

I also have a job, a loving husband and a family…oh wait no I don’t…

The REAL symptom of Autism:

1. Some of these ‘symptoms’ have nothing to do with Autism at all. The only conditions they are a symptom of is Nerotypicals lying to Autistics about their own condition and personality and Nerotypicals just downright abusing Autistics.

2. There is a wide range of personalities, skills and interests on this spectrum. Autistics are not clones. Are you?

3. A few have a higher IQ than the average Nerotypical. Those with intellectual disabilities are about the same amount, if not rarer. Technically, no the entire spectrum isn’t ‘retarded’, although that’s what most Auties consider NTs to be. Just saying 🙂

4. For some it’s pretty much just a personality trait.

5. I ran out of ideas. So to make up for it, here is a doggie:

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