Tag Archives: Autism

Autistics Can’t Redux

A while ago I wrote Autistics Can’t a project to test the curses spoken over us to see if there were any truth to them. A lot has changed since then. Here is my updated list including where I am at with each entry.

This time I will give the entries a rating depending on the amount of truth in them.

 

Autistics Can’t:

 

Drive

Just got my Restricted Licence two days ago. I can now legally drive with my husband as a passenger, even while he doesn’t have a license. This has suddenly flung open the doors for opportunities I have been starved of.

For me this was a matter of whether or not I can ‘handle’ things. The only way I can correctly deal with this is to actually test to confirm one way or another, then I move forward with that info. Usually the only way I can do this is by not telling anyone.

Not testing is just a waste of life to me.

I just drove to the mall by myself yesterday. I know many other autistics who have their learners or restricted. I know many who have no license at all. Why is the driving process so slow for autistics? Is it actually related to autism itself? I give this entry a rating of Whopping Porkies.

 

Get a Job/Get Paid

 

I have worked just for experience. Never been paid a cent for a regular day job. Though I know a number of autistics who are hopping in and out of jobs to grab pay, waiting to be replied to, getting fired for no reason, chasing the next part-time/contract, in and out of low pay menial jobs because no-one else will hire them.

I haven’t truly tested this one yet. I give this a rating of Untested.

 

Travel

 

My husband and I just recently visited Christchurch for a week. We crashed at his dads house and went in and out of town on the bus by ourselves. We got on the plane by ourselves. We packed our own luggage.

Before that we spent 5 days in Queenstown for our honeymoon. That’s catching multiple planes on our own. Finding where to get picked up from the airport on our own. Staying at the holiday home on our own. Walking to town on our own. Do you get the picture yet? It is because of this honeymoon that my husband got into his head that he doesn’t want anymore live in carers. I say, lets not do anything too fast. But all this is a fair indication of how well the two of us can travel. And we hope to travel more. When we have the money.

I give this a rating of Absolute Bullsh!t

 

Publish a book

 

Still writing it. I plan to actually chase down some agents overseas though.

Though I know of many autistics who have written books (and I’ve read them) I give this entry a rating of Untested.

 

Own a home

 

I married into owning a house. Does that count?

I give this a rating of I’m Irrelevant.

 

Get Married

 

Oh piss off. Don’t tell me you got this far through the list and don’t know my rating for this one.

If you want to know how valid ‘Autistics Can’t Get Married’ is ask my husband.
I give this a rating of Piss off, Lying POS

 

Have Sex

 

Lol.

I give this a well tested rating of Shut Your Lying Gob

 

Other optional entries Just Coz:

 

  • Get a tattoo
  • Go to the Armageddon expo
  • Have work in the Art Expo, Nelson
  • Create something for the Arts Festival
  • Visit New Orleans
  • Cosplay!
  • Visit England and Scotland
  • Have a real art studio
  • Attend a Sweet Adelines International Convention
  • Get my ears pierced again
  • Run a buisness
  • Dye my hair purple

 

Past Well Tested Acheivments

 

Live independantly

Finish school


If you have tried this yourself please leave a comment!

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The Truth About Getting Hitched While Disabled

From my own personal experience, as I just got married a bit more than 2 weeks ago. I learned a number of things that I am surprised aren’t being talked about outside the disability community. (But then, Mainstream is always painfully, and sometimes dangerously late to the bandwagon)

So here is the one blog post where I overshare the most. This intro was your final warning, lol.

 

Yes. We have sex, FFS

Disabled people get randy AF. I’ve heard Downs will go at it like rabbits.

Disabled people shag. Get over it. Wheelchair users use the disabled toilets more often for a root than for its intended purpose. I can’t back that statement up, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it were true.

Can we stop pretending that all disabled people are asexual? And when it is bought up, its played as a joke, like its funny that disabled people actually know how to shag. Or it’s played as some shocking drama about disabled people having sex! Should they have sex? Lets wrap the entire plot around disabled people and concent! Or the story ends sadly because disabled people shagging arent allowed to have a happy ending. (Not a pun, shut up.) The only joke here should be at the expense of abled people, for being so retarded that disability and shagging is still shocking to them.

 

The ‘Achievment‘ of marriage in general

An achievement for an able bodied person is finding the right kind of person for them to settle down with, find the right home, create an empire with their partner quickly, have a few kids, retire in a nice house surrounded by their memories together.

An ‘achievement’ for a disabled person is getting married at all.

Should it be though?

Should a common comment in speeches at my wedding be “I’m surprised anyone bothered to marry him/her”?

Because we share the same interests?

Because we are concerned about the same things?

How about just because he’s cute?

Why should this be the same for any milestone of adulthood that we finally reach years too late?

 

The prep

I’m not talking about the venue. I’m not talking about the dress. I’m not talking about the guest list.

I’m talking about constantly in and out and in and out and in and out of the WINZ office for months. I’m talking about the meetings and meetings and meetings at meetings with everyones team of support workers to bash out your care needs plan, which will probably be chucked out the minute you get home from your honeymoon because it is now irrelevant and useless.

I’m talking about cancelling everything for the entire day so you can sit in the WINZ office for hours while WINZ completely contradicts what they told you last week.

And the prep doesn’t end after you get married. We’ve probably spent more time in the WINZ office than planning the actual wedding.

 

Marriage ‘Equallity’

Finally in 2018, gay couples have the legal right to marry. You are all cheering.

So when do disabled people get ours?

“But…” you all scream “It’s not illigal for disabled people to get married!”

Is it not?

Some couples literally can’t get married. After benefit cuts, they’re suddenly earning less than what they had when they were single. Did yo miss the paragraph about our entire marriage prep being spent in and out of the WINZ office? And with many other roadblocks to marriage that reek of eugenics, I fail to see how disabled people could possibly have marriage equality in 2018. Most disability marriages end in divorce, even though their relationship is perfectly fine because both parties will be better off financially. So don’t insult me with that joke about disabled folk having ‘marriage equality’. What equality?

 

There is a lot more I can say about marriage, but I think its all for another post. Thanks for reading!

What I’ve Learned About Employment While Disabled

Sorry for the hiatus. I will be back to weekend posts again now.

Employment while Disabled. Lol good joke.

But to be more serious here is what I have learned about Employment while being disabled.

I’ve been disabled since birth, so safe to say I’ve learned everything.

 

Decades of flinging CVs at a wall

That’s decades, not years. Yes, you really can spend decades just throwing your CV into someone else’s rubbish bin. Finding a type of job you can physically do is like pulling teeth. Then you actually have to get hired, which will be years of flinging your CV around and getting complete silence in response. By the time you find a place that actually has space for more staff, you have been starved of employment for so long that you have no experience so they won’t hire you anyway. At that point, questions about the decade-long gaps in your CV are absolutely redundant and are yet another roadblock to employment.

Your other option is volunteering to gain experience. That means years of unpaid work. That means literally eating ‘experience’. But the experience is good though. But I have yet to see it make much difference, besides the fact I finally got responses from my CV flinging. All responses being ‘Nah’.

Then you change your strategy to flinging your CV at jobs that you can’t physically do, some of which might even put you in hospital. At a certain point, you are so desperate to grab the cash that you are literally putting your health at risk.

Then your final stratagy is to grab any illegal work that you can reach. Because those drug lords and pimps are the first people that ever paid you in 20 years so…

I have yet to meet any disabled people who suddenly had a job paying a living wage the minute they left school. If there were any, they’ve all been burned at the stake for being witches.

Eyeballing every cent that goes in

If your disabled, chances are you might be on the dole just to prevent yourself from going homeless.

But if you are a witch or something and managed to get paid and are stupid enough to declare it to the WINZ office (eye roll), you have to physically eyeball every cent you are being paid. If one cent too much goes in, bye dole. They can cut your benefit, or rip it from you completely. You are now sitting on your paid income for all your living expenses, which may not even pay you enough to eat three meals a day, let alone any rent or bills.

What is a saving? Is that some new food or…? Almost illegal when you are on the dole. Mine is treated as an emergency fund for when my bank account gets hogged by a power bill. That also means no inheritance, no gifts, no small loans of a million dollars.

One way to save yourself from trouble is to quickly spend whatever savings you have before you have to declare it. That will of course mean you will never have savings above a certain amount, which will trap you exactly where you are. The best thing to do is to empty it into bills, morgages and debts. At least that will look like you know your priorities when it comes to finances.

Another option is to not declare certain ‘incomes’. I don’t know how safe that is in some cases, you can still get into legal trouble depending. But you do not deserve to lose your benifit after a one-off sale of a piece of furniture on trademe or that one time you sold some crafts for $5 each at a bootmarklet. Not worth declaring.

Poverty 22 cycle

Employment is very much part of the poverty cycle.

Need car to get job. With what money? Where do you get money? The job you can’t get to without a car. Round and round and round.

Need this much experience to be hired. Experience doesn’t come out of thin air and sometimes education isn’t free. At least you can work for experience for free, but it won’t put food on the table. Round and round and round and round.

Lived for ears in a house that gets zero sun, goes to work in zero sun. Lack of sun hogs your energy, you’ve had one continueous cold for years. Thus you cannot work at your full ability, you will never get a promotion or a raise. You will never save up for better accommodation that will give you more energy to work better. Round and round and round and round and round.

You can only afford cheap, fatty, sugar crammed foods that pile on your weight and hog your energy. You will never reach your full potential with that energy, thus will never earn enough to afford real food. And the gym isn’t free either. Round and round and round and round and round and round and round.

Not to mention the guaranteed depression. That would take up a whole new post.

Roadblocks

So you have a car, you have experience to plaster all over your CV, you have the CV to fling around. You might have even worked out a specific job that you can easily do. The end. You go no futher into employment than this stage because now it’s up to the employer to decide if you get a job. You’ve done your side, now they have to do theirs. Then there is a thing called discrimination. Good luck.

What’s a paycheck?

Is it a food? A new kind of book or game? No seriously.

I’ve had friends and fam working for free because businesses ‘couldn’t afford’ them. Does this happen to able-bodied people???

Can we eat ‘store credit’ or ‘staff discount’???

Disability isn’t the cause of unemployment

Our disabilities don’t put us in poverty. Some of us CAN work and have our CVs in our hands ready to wave in your face.

If you’re not hiring, you can’t winge when we bludge off your taxes. You can’t have it both ways.

People on disability are there because they aren’t disabled enough to be on disability

When you think about it this actually does make perfect sense.

Someone may be only slightly disabled. Enough that they can’t stand up for long periods of time. They CAN and WANT TO work. And yet they are still unemployed. And the dole still accepts them as entitled to some benefits. So why are they there?

What are the jobs available to someone in my area with no skills, no experience and no car? Maccas, Supermarket, apple picking, road building, heavy lifting, running around all day, standing and standing and standing and standing. They pay peanuts, but we would grab them if we could physically do them. That’s if. Not everyone can just stand there for more than 10 minutes without running from chair to chair. The jobs that we are absolutely screaming for are sit down jobs. We’ve never seen one. And if we don’t see them, we can’t ask for them. And if they do exist, once again, education isn’t free. And even if you can afford it, the doors will be slammed in your face for some random reason anyway.

 

This is the endless network of cycles keeping disabled people in poverty, preventing them from growing, preventing them from gaining human status. How much have we changed since Nazi Germany? I haven’t seen much.

All I can say now is when I do get paid there will be a massive blog post from me.

For people like us, the achievement isn’t getting that promotion, buying a sports car and retiring to your mansion by the beach. For us, the achievement is getting paid AT ALL.

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