Category Archives: writing

What I’ve learned while writing

Better spelling and grammar

For obvious reasons one would want their spelling and grammar to be a decent standard when writing. My journey of writing has actually improved these basic tools

 

The structure of a story

Another thing you are going to really need when writing. Especially if its fiction. But learning this has also helped to understand other stories when reading them or when watching stories in other medias. If you can’t follow the story either the writing is piss poor or you’re incredibly stupid.

 

Character Development

A good story has a character growing throughout. This is actually really important. No character development is boring.

I’m letting my characters lead for the first time in the latest rewrite of Lemuria. This has created more interesting characters that develop traits on their own and they have even started writing the story themselves.

This has also caused a few characters who shall remain namless to ruin everything.

 

Human behaviour

This actually helps with character development. I’ve been quite nosey into psychology and thrillers. Court room dramas. History. Turns out I might be trying to use this to create my characters.

This can actually be quite fun when you are creating characters…

…until you have to create the villian and need reasons for why they are psychopath…

 

Mythologies

I love mythology. Greek, Egyptian, Maori, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Norse.

Did I say I love it? I meant that whenever I see anything about it I’m trying to fit it in my novel. I can’t just enjoy it for the sake of researching it. Writing ruins everything.

 

History

This has become one of my special interests lately, along with Mythology. I have been studying the rise and fall of empires.

Oh, hey, do you know how I’ve done the world building for my epic fantasy novels? It’s just regular old modern day planet earth with my secret nations and empires slapped over top of it. So now I have to go into the history of the entire world to make it fit. Don’t do what I did.

 

My own faith

I pray and read my Bible to get closer to God.

Am I really? Or am I doing it to get ideas because I thought it would be funny to write a Kruschun Burk?

Is the book making me closer to my own faith or is my faith just being used to write the book? I don’t know anymore. I just want to write the book…

 

Random information

Do you know what the best part of writing is? You have to make something in your story work, so you have to drop everything to research it.

Now you have all this usless information that you only used once for a scene in a book. Yeh it’s fun to impress your friends with this usless info. But it really us random and usless and now it will always be in your head whenever you do or don’t need it.

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Things that will make me burn your Kruschun fiction book/movie

I’m including movies and TV shows in this because not even good acting and directing can save anything from piss poor writing. Just ask Hayden Christensen. There are movies that were made with no budget at all that are better than some of the Krustchun crap I’ve seen.

The Kruschun burk prologue

I don’t mean the actual prologue

“Hi! This is a ministry tool meant to replace the latest fad genre at the moment! Please give it to someone that needs to be preached at blah blah blah fart fart fart read my buk I’m better than everyone else”

The best way to guarantee I won’t get past the first page.

You are using the wrong medium for your message

You’re not a writer, you’re a preacher. Stay on the pulpit, that’s where you belong. Stay where Gods gifts put you.

Normally I would tell everyone to write, even if they don’t intend to sell books or anything. Sometimes writing is just good for the soul.

But some of you preachers might want to stay in your lane. Some of these appalling writers even admitted they could barely write, but they only wrote to preach. Thus they possibly made no attempt to develop their writing craft and instead relied on their preaching and God to carry their message. Yeh, writing doesn’t work that way. And God would rather you actually practice writing before you try to put anything out there. You do actually have to do things yourself, you know. It’s not Gods job to hold your hand and do everything for you.

If you’re too lazy to develop your craft, stay on the pulpit and pay someone else to do the writing for you.

You spend your entire writing career chasing trends

When you jump on the latest oversaturated genre bandwagon, just to ride its coattails to get your message out there, it shows.

When you sacrifice writing to ‘replace’ all the latest ‘demonic’ YA genres, it really really shows.

My advice: Write. Write the genre you want to write in. Yes, you can chase the popular if you want to. But at the end of the day, the only stories you should be writing are the ones you want to write, not the ones you are just chucking out to jump on the bandwagon.

You’ve never spoken to anyone 10 years younger than you before

Teenagers and young adults speak a whole different language. In your book, they’re talking like a 60-year-old white pastor. Eww. Bye Felicia.

K, lets talk about swearing now. Make. Your. Characters. Swear. No, honeybun, stop the wingeing and high pitched noises, you don’t have to actually write out the words themselves. Even just mentioning that ‘they cursed’ will suffice. See it’s that easy. And it looks better than a secular character speaking in the same voice that a mother uses on her toddler because the authour is too busy hand-wringing to put naughty no-no words in a book.

People swear, get over it. I’ve heard worse words at church. I’ve heard toddlers screaming worse words at their own parents.

If swearing makes sense to a character, don’t dance around it. You are allowed to write that swearing exists. You’re not going to hell for writing a secular character that swears.

Maybe in the POV of a fundie Christian character you can play with their voice and how they react to other characters swearing. Maybe the character can replace the swearing with something else. This is one good way to include swearing without actually including swearing. I’ll do that work for you for free.

So please make your characters dialog and language appropriate for their age.

Fucks Sake.

You can’t write

That’s it. You just can’t write. Not even misspelling ‘Krustchun burk’ on the cover will save it. Not even Jesus himself will save it. It’s too far gone.

You suffer from Big Fish in Small Pond syndrome

I’m just going to say it.

Writing is full of narcissists.

Christian writing is full of more narcissists.

The problem is you have to wade through a lot of toilet paper to find a book/genre that you like in the Christian only bookshop. And the Christian market is very much starved of any writing at all, let alone quality stuff.

Name Christian writers who did well in the secular market, you might get CS Lewis, Tolkien. Very smart people who created unforgettable works that are still being published long after their death. I don’t know what religion Anne Rice identifies with as she has rejected Catholicism but she still believes. Her vampire books were massive.

Now name even one Christian writer that made it big by starting in the Christian market.

Yeh, it doesn’t happen. You might get big in the Christian market itself, but then you will hit the glass ceiling because no-one else but Christians can relate to your books.

You could say the Left Behind Series. But the only reason they exploded was that they were a Big Fish in a Small Pond. No-one had ever done Revelation fanfiction on such a massive scale. And their preaching is very heavy in every book.

Your non-christian characters are made of straw

If it’s screamingly obvious that the atheist characters are written by a Kruschun who has never spoken to anyone outside their cult before, you might want to rewrite these characters.

No-one likes cardboard characters in any genre.

So are your kruschun characters

But then again, Christian written Christian characters that are an insult to real Christians is quite an achievement. Keep writing. You will make millions from hate-reading. Hilarious.

Kruschun Mary Sues are rampant

Kruschun characters who are so much smarter and better than the atheist characters. Everyone loves them. Villians give their hearts to Jesus for them! Because it’s that easy! Everything that comes out of the characters mouth sounds like the voice of the authour. Oops, lol. Maybe you should just name the character after yourself? Oh, you already did that…

You’re trying too hard

K, so you don’t know how to write. You don’t know how to develop a character. You don’t know anything about world building or dialogue. You barely even know how to spell anything. And you actually agree with me in this post. You want your book to be a bit different. Here’s what you do: EDGE!! Edgy Christians are totally not overdone as an attempt to attract a bigger audience at all.

The problem with that is that your book is now only edgy to a pastors son who’s not allowed to have a girlfriend till he’s 21. OMG! The main character is wearing a beanie!!!! And there’s a girl wearing shorts!!!!! So much EDGE!!!!!

This will be the edgiest book some Christians have ever read, but to everyone else, it will be an absolute joke.

Don’t force edge. Find your natural voice.

Plus I’m the only Edgy Christian in the village. All you others are fakes. I bet you don’t even listen to Striper.

 

I have a headache. I’m going to read Game of Thrones again.

What I learned after posting my novel on WattPad and FictionPress

What I discovered using Watpadd and FictionPress

I finally posted that damn novel I spent half my life on. I discovered Wattpad and rediscovered FictionPress and decided to compare the two.

I was planning to self publish my novel as an ebook, but decided it wasn’t ready for that yet so I posted it in an un-edited form on these two sites. These are just my experiences of these two sites.

Wattpad is a newer site and you can also get the app for all your devices. The site navigation is really nice and easy. The site design itself looks really nice. Good commenting and reviewing system. Good profile system. You can even have your own cover image!

As for marketing your book there, that’s the actual work. I have done a lot of research to find out the best ways to market yourself on there. I’ve read many blogs from other authours, most of which had already published professionally and made a name for themselves before they randomly threw something up on the site for fun. So they already had some audience by the time they found Wattpad. I haven’t seen much success from those that are completely starting from scratch, no audience at all, save for a few that found their only success by spending literally hours spamming everyone on the site. I know people hate that kind of method for obvious reasons. But it seems to work better than dumping something on a site and then waiting for something to happen.

The site has some good suggestions for marketing though. It does make promises that you can get professionally published, then your books can be made into movies and tvshows, almost as if turning it into a movie should be the be-all-end-all point to writing a novel. I might make another blog post on that later. But I post on Wattpad to get readers and feedback and so people can enjoy reading my work.

Also the posting process needs to be fixed. And before any gaslighting: This has happened every time I have posted a chapter, that’s more than three times. The rule of science is that one must run a test three times to get an accurate result and I’ve had the same result more than three times so…

It doesn’t dick you over until you’ve hit ‘Upload’, then you have to go back into edit, so that you can click-space, click-space, click-space, click-space for the next half-hour all the places that the site has randomly removed spaces for absolutely no reason. That is time that could be spent on completely unnecessary things like perhaps writing the rest of the novel you are posting.

I have found it is very easy to share you work and other peoples work through social media. I should probably get around to sharing my work on my facebook page.

The site also has groups and forums where one can chat about writing and books, so those might be quite helpful.

WattPad conclusion:

Good site, besides the formatting problem.

Marketing: Already having an audience will be helpful. Also: 12-year-olds with no grammar don’t seem to need marketing at all. As for those who have nothing but your novel, If you are a Freemason you will not have any problems, so disregard the following review: Mine has been up a couple months with a few chapters, 14 views, no feedback. Will let you know if anything interesting happens.

The next one is FictionPress…

I’ve known of Fictionpress for a while as it is the sistersite to Fanfiction.net, which should tell you what it’s target audience is.

To let you know what the site is like: It looks exactly the same as it did when I first joined with my old account. When I was twelve. I am now 27. So the site is older than most of its members and it shows in the navigation. I have yet to find if I’ve even had any reviews at all, let alone what they say, besides hacking into my profile through emails I receive from the site :/

No app that I know of.

But though it’s old it is still dear to my heart.

And I’ve already had favorites and follows on my novel there. (Compere to Wattpad: None at all) I have done no marketing at all on FictionPress. (Compere to Wattpad: Made a few attempts and spamming my novel. No response) I’ve made ONE attempt at getting into the community in FictionPress and I’m already getting follows. And I was told it was a dead site and would get more success on WattPad!

Haven’t tried to see of one can share from this site yet, though you can have a favorites section on your profile.

This one also has forums and communities though most were last updated a decade ago.

FictionPress Conclusion:

Be warned it is an old site. If you needed your Freemasonry to market on Wattpad, you will need Baphomet or something to use the navigation on this site. But it served all my needs for the site. I had a place to post my novel and possibly get feedback

Marketing: Got more views on a ‘dead site’ than I did on the latest writing community. Also had a few follows and favorites. And I’ve hardly done any marketing.

Final conclusion:

I will continue to use both sites to post chapters of my novel you can find it HERE

I spend more time on Wattpad because I’m biased and like the site formatting/navigation better.

I tried to be a bit helpful in this blog so I hope you got something out of it. Your results may vary with each of these two sites. There are many other writing communities out there that I haven’t covered yet.

These sites are and alright place to get started into writing. A lot of people post their first drafts there and go through the process of revising with the feedback from readers and other writers. Sites like this are perfect for that sort of thing. And they are good sites if you are still practicing your skills and just want to post a story that you never want to publish professionally because there’s no shame in that, I’ll be doing that too XD

Though if you’ve finished school and know how to spell and how to write properly, prepare to be ignored for months, or you could try the mass spam method meantioned earlier. Yes, no on recommends it but I’m not knocking it if it works. If you’re just a reader, the top stories are written by twelve-year-olds, the biggest audience on both these sites. So expect to find some very 12-year-old stories. I know my 12-year-old stories were disgusting quality! Some of my stories I’m writing now is disgusting quality, but that’s part of the process. In the end it’s a good place for teens and young adults to test their skills

And that’s my review I wanted to do of these two sites.

Cheers.

Writing update

So I wrote a novel and then spent the next few years looking at publishing options. I may like to have an agent someday, but after years of looking at my options I don’t think I have what I need to get the agent I’m looking for.

I have decided to self publish (Nearly every writer in NZ has started with Self-pub as a. I can count on one hand the number of legit NZ agents interested in my genre and b. we have no legit publishing companies anymore.)

It’s going up on Smashwords first and then probably Createspace. The only issue is I’m not quite sure if it is ready to go up yet.

So I am considering putting it up on Wattpad first. I have researched all these sites. If I put it up on Wattpad it can be read for free. I am hoping to get some helpful comments on it as I do need a bit of critique on the story itself.

Right now the story is more important to me than the money I could potentially make off it.

It is also a good way to find an audience.

Part or all of it may be removed from the site later once I get more serious about publishing it.

I will update if anything happens.

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