Category Archives: Uncategorized


I spent 2017 flinging Cvs everywhere. To tell you how successful that is in Nelson I will just say that today I spent all day watching random YT videos and the day before that. And probably all of tomorrow.

I used TradeMe for a while. Once I had cut the jobs I couldn’t physically get to via tricycle or bus with arthritis, then cut the physically impossible due to disability work, then cut everything that expected me to magically get experience from nowhere, I was usually left with one available job in total. I couldn’t even say if I were interested in these jobs, it was too early to say anything like that because these were usually jobs I knew nothing about. But I flung a CV at them anyway. I wanted part-time work for experience, as I had none. I still got rejections anyway. Even once I could put my familiarity with a cash register on my CV.

2018 I will be giving up the search as it is wasting time and energy that could be spent on art and writing, the work I actually want. So I am looking for side gigs that I can make out of this work.

Solo artists are small business owners. Artists are a brand. So I will need to focus on things like that at some point.

This year I need to focus on one project at a time because I am usually all over the place and I still have projects that have been sitting there literally for years.

In 2018 you might see more of me on this blog.

Happy New Year! Hope yours will be good.



2017 was Ok. I got a lot of things done but still am not where I need to be.

I started driving, relationships, did a few thing out of my comfort zone.

I was seeking retail work this year but didn’t get any further than the Opshop job I already had.

Next year I am giving up wasting my time on job seeking to focus on my art and writing. And I would also like to learn more about driving.

I don’t know what to expect from next year. Whatever happens, hopefully I will be more reliable with blog posting.

Autistics Can’t

I started this project for my own selfish reasons. I needed a reason to actually get up and do something. I needed a list of things I needed to achieve. I have been stagnant for about six or seven years and I desperately need a change.

I have named this list Autistics Can’t because it is mostly a list of very basic milestones. And I used Autism as an example because ‘can’t’ is the only word autistics and the disabled ever hear, regardless of whether they actually can or not. ‘Autistics’ and ‘can’t’ shouldn’t even be used in the same sentence.

So lets see if Autistics actually can’t do any of these things. The rules of this list is that it must be an ‘autistics can’t’ statement you have heard from or been told by someone else. The burden of proof should not be on autistics to disprove such a strawman argument. We expect to see evidence that we can’t do any of these things, signed by Hans Asperger himself. (If you have said evidence, please leave it in the comments.) But its still worth making a list of your own just for your own entertainment.

Continue reading

Life update and bitching about employment

Any real growth I have been getting is small. But one does not gradually climb out of the dole, it has to be jumped. Some people in my situation have a vast network of roadblocks that will take witchcraft to figure out which one can actually be removed. But most can’t because 10 more blocks have to be removed first. Some are trapped in an infinite cycle of catch 22s.

Jobseeking. I am a 28 year-old part-time worker. I have never been paid a cent in my entire lifetime.

I am seeking payed work. Work must be within walking/cycling distance from my house, or a bus station at a stretch, anything else is a dealbreaker, or else how would I get there? What’s a car? Oh right. But those aren’t free. To get one I will need money and to get that I will need to be paid. And to be paid I will need to find a job, to do that I may need to expand my reach to places requiring a car and most jobs on Trademe require I have a car anyway and to get one of those I need to be paid. By a job. FAIL!!!

Jobseeking with experience!

Looking up some very basic part time jobs to gain some skills. Applicants must have this many years of experience in digging holes/slapping paint everywhere.

From where???


When we are offered the carrot of being paid we grab it, even if we end up sitting for years in unpaid internship to get it. And what a waste of those years. What are we going to eat in all that time before we get paid? Sorry bub, were taking yet another part time job just to eat. And since we’re being paid for it, guess which job will have to be a priority?

Sometimes these jobs affect our mental and physical health. Some of these jobs are even dangerous if not lethal to our mental and physical health.

At this point, don’t even ask why we don’t leave, don’t even bring up the question. Why would we leave? Why would we leave what puts food on our table even though it puts us in hospital?

I am being dripfed opportunities right now. And even the people helping me find the work are making me avoid some jobs because they are concerned for my health. I purposefully chose those dangerous-to-my-health-jobs because they were the only ones I had the skills for and could physically get to LOL. What are my other options?

I wonder how many people are in the same situation as me. Quite a few I imagine with uncountable various reasons for why they need to find new work, why they need to add yet another full time job to their workload, why they are avoiding some kinds of jobs, why they are purposefully taking jobs their own disabilities with prevent them from doing.

And yes at the same time we will have to ‘bludge’ off your taxes to pay rent and eat.

Don’t like it? Show us another option. We will love to hear about it. We will wait. Some of us have been searching and researching options for years.

This was going to be a life update. Now it is a bitchy post about unemployment. Maybe I need to get back into looking for Work-From-Home opportunities.

I’ve gotten back into painting. Obviously I’m trying with the writing side. I am studying for my learners license and there may be a possibility of me getting a car later. I am praying for some important life changes this year.

One important good news is that I have a new special someone in my life. I like to have a few good friendships. This new man I am with started off as a friendship many years ago. In my opinion friendships are a good way to start potential relationships.

Hope you are doing better than I am. Sorry if this was too bitchy.



July update

Gday its me again.

This is going to be a rather sad personal rant so please bare with. Lol

I tried to jumpstart my YouTube and blogging career again this year but obviously I have rarely updated in months. I haven’t been motivated to finish anything for the past 7 years so I’m rather desperate for real growth now. When I have an idea it doesn’t last very long. I keep changing my mind what to use my blog and YT for or which of my many platform to start with and which will just be for support.

At the moment I just want this blog to be for personal stuff, like ranting or probably just pontificating about myself and stuff you don’t really care about. Lol.

I have a lot of opinions but for some reason I don’t have an outlet, this should probably be it.

I tried a regular update schedule but it didn’t work. So for now I just post when I post. Probably on weekends if I actually have something to post.

I discovered recently that I have been added to a network for autistic bloggers. Which hopefully should give me the shove to updating more often. Advocating for autistics and disabilities is one of my dreams. Because everyone deserves freedom, independence and personhood.

I have slowly gotten back to my painting and drawing after years of artist block and no motivation. I have also just recently picked up writing again. Still trying to post Lemuria regularly.

I am convinced there will be a massive shift this year. My handwriting has suddenly changed. Only about 30% on purpose. I actually can’t go back to my old handwriting automatically. I don’t know what this means.

I hope things are good for you readers out there, the ones that are left. Sorry for the lack of updates. Fingers crossed I will actually post more often now.

Thanks for reading, byeeeeeee!

Confessions of an Opshop Volunteer

I’ve been working in an Opshop for the past two years. I won’t be naming it in this blog for privacy reasons, but this one I’m working in is a charity for the animals. That’s the only hint I’m giving.

Here are my confessions and everything I learned from working there

Sometimes we do throw out stuff

Lol. Yes we literally sometimes do. Some things we get can be in disgusting quality so it goes straight to the tip. I don’t know about other places, but the particular shop I’m working in doesn’t want to sell it.

Some things we can’t even legally sell on due to safety laws. New regulations can make some old, rusty items completely obsolete.

Yes we test all the electronics before it goes on the shelf

If you can find an available powerpoint, I guess you could still confirm what we already know.


Yes. Thefts. Literally thefts. We’ve had crap stolen right out of the shop before. It actually happens quite often. Yes. There are some special little darlings out there that will literally STEAL from a CHARITY. In my case they are stealing from animals. There is also an opshop for the Hospice in my town. Chances are these same little darlings steal from that also. Yes, that’s a charity supporting the Hospice that they are knowingly STEALING from, your dying loved ones.


The gender gap

Been working there for two years. Never met a male member of staff. In fact I think the entire staff is female at the moment.

There are discounts!

In some shops staff can get discounts. Which is nice when the shop is the only place you can afford clothes.

Closing time

We close at 4.

Not 4.30.

Not 6.00pm.

We. Close. At. 4.

We don’t get payed overtime.


That’s why its called volunteering. That’s why its called charity.

We choose to work there all afternoon, sometimes all day, for free.

We did not chose to cancel any important part of our lives after exactly four so that we can hold the door open while you plod around for an hour and not buy anything.

Pretty sure that would be called slavery, bro. So umm…pay us?

Seriously, the manager at our shop is almost slamming the door in peoples faces at exactly 4.

I guess if you get locked in the store after 4…whose fault is it, really?

Late donations

Turning up long after hours, or on days we are closed, to dump donations.

Of course it will all just sit there until we actually open. I mean that isn’t news to you right?

Hey guess what…it can get us in trouble!!

And if it’s just sitting there it’s probably going to get stolen before we even get there. So why dump that mess there if its going to get the same result by dumping it all over your own driveway? The only difference is the problems it causes us if we get in trouble for it. And we should not be held responsible for your own laziness. So ‘thanks’ for the donation.

And to get pissy at us when we’re not open massively after hours or on a public holiday. LOL. Pay us?

Expect massive lag at the counter

This is a charity shop. Not a supermarket. We don’t have any of our own stuff at the counter. The plastic bags are all donated. The till and eftpost is probably donated as well. If you by more than one item the price has to be added up. One. By. One. If you’ve decided to buy 50 items, you might as well drive to maccas and come back. We will still be counting. Change has to be basically made up on the spot. If someone is on the shop phone, we basically have no eftpost machine. So if there is one volunteer at the counter, guess how many customers they can serve at a time? I’ll give you a hint. it’s between zero and one.

No blog post today :(

No blog post today since I had no time to write one. But since I promised a blog a week for an entire year, I needed to post something.

So here is a post to make up for it.

Sorry 😦

I should come up with some weird punishment for when I miss a blog post.


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