Monthly Archives: November 2018

I won’t be the ‘tame autistic’ – The need for real Autistic involvement not just ticking a box

via I won’t be the ‘tame autistic’ – The need for real Autistic involvement not just ticking a box

Autistics Can’t Redux

A while ago I wrote Autistics Can’t a project to test the curses spoken over us to see if there were any truth to them. A lot has changed since then. Here is my updated list including where I am at with each entry.

This time I will give the entries a rating depending on the amount of truth in them.

 

Autistics Can’t:

 

Drive

Just got my Restricted Licence two days ago. I can now legally drive with my husband as a passenger, even while he doesn’t have a license. This has suddenly flung open the doors for opportunities I have been starved of.

For me this was a matter of whether or not I can ‘handle’ things. The only way I can correctly deal with this is to actually test to confirm one way or another, then I move forward with that info. Usually the only way I can do this is by not telling anyone.

Not testing is just a waste of life to me.

I just drove to the mall by myself yesterday. I know many other autistics who have their learners or restricted. I know many who have no license at all. Why is the driving process so slow for autistics? Is it actually related to autism itself? I give this entry a rating of Whopping Porkies.

 

Get a Job/Get Paid

 

I have worked just for experience. Never been paid a cent for a regular day job. Though I know a number of autistics who are hopping in and out of jobs to grab pay, waiting to be replied to, getting fired for no reason, chasing the next part-time/contract, in and out of low pay menial jobs because no-one else will hire them.

I haven’t truly tested this one yet. I give this a rating of Untested.

 

Travel

 

My husband and I just recently visited Christchurch for a week. We crashed at his dads house and went in and out of town on the bus by ourselves. We got on the plane by ourselves. We packed our own luggage.

Before that we spent 5 days in Queenstown for our honeymoon. That’s catching multiple planes on our own. Finding where to get picked up from the airport on our own. Staying at the holiday home on our own. Walking to town on our own. Do you get the picture yet? It is because of this honeymoon that my husband got into his head that he doesn’t want anymore live in carers. I say, lets not do anything too fast. But all this is a fair indication of how well the two of us can travel. And we hope to travel more. When we have the money.

I give this a rating of Absolute Bullsh!t

 

Publish a book

 

Still writing it. I plan to actually chase down some agents overseas though.

Though I know of many autistics who have written books (and I’ve read them) I give this entry a rating of Untested.

 

Own a home

 

I married into owning a house. Does that count?

I give this a rating of I’m Irrelevant.

 

Get Married

 

Oh piss off. Don’t tell me you got this far through the list and don’t know my rating for this one.

If you want to know how valid ‘Autistics Can’t Get Married’ is ask my husband.
I give this a rating of Piss off, Lying POS

 

Have Sex

 

Lol.

I give this a well tested rating of Shut Your Lying Gob

 

Other optional entries Just Coz:

 

  • Get a tattoo
  • Go to the Armageddon expo
  • Have work in the Art Expo, Nelson
  • Create something for the Arts Festival
  • Visit New Orleans
  • Cosplay!
  • Visit England and Scotland
  • Have a real art studio
  • Attend a Sweet Adelines International Convention
  • Get my ears pierced again
  • Run a buisness
  • Dye my hair purple

 

Past Well Tested Acheivments

 

Live independantly

Finish school


If you have tried this yourself please leave a comment!

Don’t move to Hollywood

There is a huge problem in Hollywood at the moment and I don’t know if they are even talking about it.

How much is Hollywood talking about Mental Health? Is it common knowledge yet that Hollywood is a massively toxic culture?

We look up to these stars too much and dream of being where they are, and we also don’t. Because now we know what Hollywood does to our favorite stars. And we don’t want to be there, even though we secretly do.

 

Hollywood gives its stars the biggest houses, the best cars, the top careers, but at a price. How many of our stars will be dying of old age? How many of them have already died of drug overdoses, drunk driving, suicide, heart attacks? Is it possible for a celebrity to die any other way?

 

How many of your favorite stars have sold out? How many of them have burnt out and had a breakdown, ended up in rehab, became a social media joke? That doesn’t just come from nowhere. Why are they plastering on a fake face to slap on a product they don’t even care about selling?

Do you really think most of the profits go to the star? How much of their time is actually spent making someone else money?

Is making fun of Charlie Sheen called for?

 

They are walking on the eggshells of our entitlement. When someone shot up Adriana Grande’s concert she profusely apologized to her audience. What did you do wrong, Adriana? Nothing! Did you shoot up the concert yourself? Someone should be apologizing to you for ruining something you put so much work into!

 

It’s not a conspiracy theory, it is official now. Hollywood is run by peadophiles and rapists. They’ve been getting away with it for decades. Hollywood throws money at it to cover it up. The predators probably found some legal loophole where they can literally buy their victims. It’s not new. We’re just finally talking about it. Do we still want to join Hollywood? Do we want to pay these people to rape their stars? Would it be worth boycotting the work of rapists?

 

Maybe the Illuminati is real. Maybe this is it.

If you are a celeb and you are reading this: Please take a holiday! For your own sake!

The Truth About Getting Hitched While Disabled

From my own personal experience, as I just got married a bit more than 2 weeks ago. I learned a number of things that I am surprised aren’t being talked about outside the disability community. (But then, Mainstream is always painfully, and sometimes dangerously late to the bandwagon)

So here is the one blog post where I overshare the most. This intro was your final warning, lol.

 

Yes. We have sex, FFS

Disabled people get randy AF. I’ve heard Downs will go at it like rabbits.

Disabled people shag. Get over it. Wheelchair users use the disabled toilets more often for a root than for its intended purpose. I can’t back that statement up, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it were true.

Can we stop pretending that all disabled people are asexual? And when it is bought up, its played as a joke, like its funny that disabled people actually know how to shag. Or it’s played as some shocking drama about disabled people having sex! Should they have sex? Lets wrap the entire plot around disabled people and concent! Or the story ends sadly because disabled people shagging arent allowed to have a happy ending. (Not a pun, shut up.) The only joke here should be at the expense of abled people, for being so retarded that disability and shagging is still shocking to them.

 

The ‘Achievment‘ of marriage in general

An achievement for an able bodied person is finding the right kind of person for them to settle down with, find the right home, create an empire with their partner quickly, have a few kids, retire in a nice house surrounded by their memories together.

An ‘achievement’ for a disabled person is getting married at all.

Should it be though?

Should a common comment in speeches at my wedding be “I’m surprised anyone bothered to marry him/her”?

Because we share the same interests?

Because we are concerned about the same things?

How about just because he’s cute?

Why should this be the same for any milestone of adulthood that we finally reach years too late?

 

The prep

I’m not talking about the venue. I’m not talking about the dress. I’m not talking about the guest list.

I’m talking about constantly in and out and in and out and in and out of the WINZ office for months. I’m talking about the meetings and meetings and meetings at meetings with everyones team of support workers to bash out your care needs plan, which will probably be chucked out the minute you get home from your honeymoon because it is now irrelevant and useless.

I’m talking about cancelling everything for the entire day so you can sit in the WINZ office for hours while WINZ completely contradicts what they told you last week.

And the prep doesn’t end after you get married. We’ve probably spent more time in the WINZ office than planning the actual wedding.

 

Marriage ‘Equallity’

Finally in 2018, gay couples have the legal right to marry. You are all cheering.

So when do disabled people get ours?

“But…” you all scream “It’s not illigal for disabled people to get married!”

Is it not?

Some couples literally can’t get married. After benefit cuts, they’re suddenly earning less than what they had when they were single. Did yo miss the paragraph about our entire marriage prep being spent in and out of the WINZ office? And with many other roadblocks to marriage that reek of eugenics, I fail to see how disabled people could possibly have marriage equality in 2018. Most disability marriages end in divorce, even though their relationship is perfectly fine because both parties will be better off financially. So don’t insult me with that joke about disabled folk having ‘marriage equality’. What equality?

 

There is a lot more I can say about marriage, but I think its all for another post. Thanks for reading!

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