Monthly Archives: March 2018

NZ Stereotypes: The truth!

The Sheep One

This one came from the statistic that at one time there were more sheep than the human population.

According to new studies, there are now more cows here than sheep. So the joke should now be about cows, which some people find more attractive than sheep anyway.

 

Hitchhiking

While watching a video about travelling on a budget, the YouTuber suggested hitchhiking in NZ, because, and I quote: “Everyone does it” here.

Really now?

The only people I’ve ever seen hitchhiking here are foreign hipsters. We never hear anything about them afterwards. And we never talk about them again. What tourist? I didn’t see one.

My dad has been known to do it on occasion, but he is over 6 foot, Celtic Maori and covered in tattoos. So he tends not to have any trouble.

But if you are not from here and want to go hitchhiking, I highly recommend you do it every time you travel. There is an art to it. Here are some tips:

  • For best results go alone. All by yourself.
  • Take any car that pulls over, no matter what it or its driver looks like.
  • Don’t bring a phone or any way to contact the outside world.
  • Don’t tell anyone where you’re going. Drivers know when you have told someone. It’s better if no-one knows where the hell you are.
  • Don’t bring any weapons or anything you could possibly defend yourself with. Because hitchhiking doesn’t work if you can defend yourself.

 

Lord of the Rings

Yes, we all know it was filmed here. Yes, we all know about hobbits. Yes, I saw the first film four times at the cinema. Yes, I collected everything LOTR when I was a teenager. Yes, I thought I was Arowen for two weeks. Then I thought I was Galadreal for about a year. Yes, I was convinced I was going to work for Weta to make the next film. Been there, done that. We already know. Shut up.

The truth: The entire country isn’t just one filming location waiting for the next movie. We do all have lives outside those damn films.

 

It’s a Tiny Island Country

Already bored of the fat Americans turning up surprised we have cars and roads. This tells me NZ is probably miles ahead of some Western countries as far as development.

The Truth:

Some of your food probably gets shipped straight from here. That’s meat, wines, ciders, beers, fruits and veg.

There are the obvious exports of filming locations etc.

At the moment we are also exporting a number of musicians.

We have a lot to offer. Yes. There are actual people here.

 

It exists only as a holiday tourist attraction

Once again, we have a government, society, culture, lives outside dropping everything to entertain you.

The truth:

This country is currently being choked to death by freeload-campers and begpackers who literally shit all over the environment because the public toilet five steps away were just tooooo faaaaaar for poor little hipster feet.

We have foreign beggers turning up, expecting the country itself to pay for their holiday. They could afford a plane ticket and a crappy van, but somehow not the $10 a night at a motor camp and basic food. They are now bludging off food banks set up for local people that are actually homeless.

Other countries don’t exist for your entertainment. If you come to enjoy what it offers RESPECT IT or stay home!

 

Dare Devils

This country is well known for its daredevil ideas. Bungy Jumping etc.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but we didn’t make those for you.

We made those for ourselves first.

The truth:

By the time we got the first iPhone, it had been obsolete for years.

A lot of towns suffer from severe brain drain: Everyone pisses off the minute they leave school to find work. Leaving entire cities as giant retirement villages because there are no opportunities for anyone else. Using the place as a filming location only goes so far.

Whenever a new trend comes out, we often have to buy it illegally off the internet after searching for it locally for months.

We walk in a bookshop to buy the latest ‘bestseller’. Staff has never heard of it. Movie comes out. Same staff is now obsessed with that same book ‘based on the movie’.

If you want to buy comic books, you have to buy a plane ticket first.

The truth is we are bored! We’re trying to commit suicide. Please help us die.

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Disability Day of Mourning

On this years Day of Mourning, one of my favourite Disability Activists posted a video:

On days like this, I always have a lot of questions.

How is it that we are asking people nicely to act like a human being raised in civilized society and NOT abuse and murder their own children? As if we need to say our please, thank yous, keep our elbows off the table, drink with our pinky in the air before we can expect to live without violence directed at us every day?

Not being abused is a right, not a privilege. Even pigs are entitled to that right, and we eat those!!

Can you still be considered a parent if you are responsible for the death of your own child? Doesn’t that completely contradict the definition of being a mother/father? I would have thought the #1 rule of parenthood was to keep the little one alive for as long as possible. Even brain-dead goldfish know this. And we as a species walked on the moon. So we have the mental capacity to keep a child alive. Murdering your own child is no accident.

Anyone can make a baby. It’s not Quantum Physics. You don’t need a PhD to have sex. Parenthood is another thing entirely. I’ve never tried it myself, but it looks like a very long, complicated job. It’s more than just biology. So is murdering your own kid. I don’t know what high school class that is taught in.

My last question is one that comes up for me every year. And every year the sheer logic of it gives me a brain haemorrhage.

How TF are these sperm and egg donors plastered all over the media as the victims???

Does the media not know how murder works?

It’s usually the dead one in a murder case that is considered the victim. Or are police all over the world wrong?

But we are talking about disabled murder victims. People who have zero ways to defend themselves. So of course in these cases, everything needs to be backwards. The abused and murdered disabled person who probably suffered massively towards the end of their life are the criminals.

Then watch the real criminals cry and whine all over the TV and news blogs, earning more and more money with every interview that enables their pathological behaviour. Just listen to much they suffered! Because that’s what parenting is all about, it’s all about the parents wingeing and feefees, and nothing, zero about the safety and well-being of the actual child.

This ‘parent’ is a psychopath. The media is their enabler, and possibly a psychopath also. And if the media is contributing to these deaths, I would not be surprised anymore.

Disability rights is LAW. The disability community shouldn’t have to ask for these rights, let alone scream for decades until we get it: The safety we are legally entitled to.

Amythest is asking too nicely. I think we need to go back to screaming. The deaf community can already hear us and are screaming with their hands. Why can’t all of you hear us?

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