I’m back on the topic of autism again. Yay! 🙂 And to prove my autism card I’ve been doing what auties do best, shutting everyone out to think of something interesting. Inner monologues. I’m assuming you have one, I know its a very common trait in autism. Non-verbal autistics can have really interesting ones. And now I really want to make a list of all the possible inner monologues found in autism, mostly to see how many I can come up with in no particular order. Disclaimer: All of these are probably different for everyone. I use ‘autistic’ to cover most if not all of the spectrum.
1. The default main voice
That one that everyone has. This description will be terrible since I’m convinced it’s different for everyone. You know that voice that is just whatever is going on at the time.
Many auties describe their mind as ‘not thinking in words but in pictures’. Autistics such as Temple Grandon can be found in this category. She often describes it as when someone says something she sees an image in her head. For example when hearing the word ‘miracle’ she sees an image of Jesus. The movie based on her depicts this monologue personally.
Many musical auties can have music in their head 24/7. Many talented music creators can even do entire compositions in their head. Some may not think in words but in music. There may be non-verbal autistics with great skill in music.
4. The animal monologue
This can also include 2 and 3. Basically an autistic human…with the thought process of a cat or something. Literally. It doesn’t take any effort for anyone with this monologue to know everything an animal is thinking about. Because like 2 there are no words in their inner monologue. Those with this monologue are more likely to have meltdowns due to too much human noise and crap. But they can make good pet owners (or pets for cats since no-one truly ‘owns’ a cat).
5. I hate you
Or any variant. One of my favorites, really lifts the general mood. This one is always 24/7. Often root cause of depressive states. Self explanatory.
Some of my autie friends have mentioned this as their inner monologue. Another of my favorites. Also 24/7. I think I’ve had this a few times. Also self explanatory.
7. The Pink Floyd concert
Because it’s my favorite band. And also because some auties have described some kind of hippy rainbow thing of rainbows and sound and bubbles. Can also include 2 and 3. Maybe some of 6 but in a happy tone? If that’s possible?
I just use Pink Floyd as the title of this one since it’s the closest thing outside the autie that I can think of to describe it. Can also be called the Beatles or Hippy Sh**
Personally I am convinced that this could actually be another dimention.
8. The artist
Basically the process of creating without the need of a visual diary or an art journal. Some have access to a number of images in their mind (see 2)
Also possible in non-artists. No need for journals or planners or mindmaps.
This can even take seconds. Here I’ve come up with a theory that there may be no time in some autistic inner monologues.
9. The social monologue
This includes Social Scripting. Another one of my favorites and also 24/7 with anything social.
What do I have to say next? What is the correct response? Where should my eyes be? What position should my hands be in? What tone should this word be in? Should I do this? Should I have done that? What does that mean? Is this good? Is this bad? Are you over this monologue yet? Do you hate yourself yet? Do you want to kill yourself yet? Also includes 5. And also 6.
Often needs to be shut up when there are already other monologues going, especially 5 and 6. Which of course leads to a mute autie. This can also happen with there is no social scripting for something.
10. Films and TV shows (can also include theatre!)
Some auties can remember most of what they see. Probably one of the most fun monologues. Also includes 2 and 3. Unfortunate my one is only good for stupid TV advertisements or the occasional Monty Python skit 😦
11. Special interest
Most may have a monologue including something they’re interested in. This description is short as results may vary quite a lot. Were talking about interests here.
13. Mine includes my novel series! An Epic Sci-fi fantasy set in 1980s NZ! Dragons and vampires! Last draft will be out soon! Looking for a publisher or an agent!
13. All the ones I forgot
Leave a comment below if you can think of more.
If you have any one or two or three of these, you’re probably not autistic.
To get the official diagnosis one would have ALL the monologues listed. At the same time. Usually 24/7. And including #13.
No wonder we have so many problems.
What the Autistic Inner Monologue may not include:
– Things like what shall I have for tea tonight? (We decide on our best cooking when it gets to teatime. Toast!!!)
– Housewife stuff (I don’t know any of these ones because I tried and woke up two days later in hospital from mild brain damage. I am still single and childless.)
– Any of the answers to 9
– Anyone else inner monologue but their own (because that would be called telepathy, which isn’t even a natural occurrence in any human being, let alone auties. We’re autistic, not X-men)
– Sometimes sports (An autistic either likes sports or absolutely despises it. There is no in between.)
What is you’re Inner Monologue experience? Which Inner Monologues do you have? Leave a comment below.