What I’ve learned while writing

Better spelling and grammar

For obvious reasons one would want their spelling and grammar to be a decent standard when writing. My journey of writing has actually improved these basic tools


The structure of a story

Another thing you are going to really need when writing. Especially if its fiction. But learning this has also helped to understand other stories when reading them or when watching stories in other medias. If you can’t follow the story either the writing is piss poor or you’re incredibly stupid.


Character Development

A good story has a character growing throughout. This is actually really important. No character development is boring.

I’m letting my characters lead for the first time in the latest rewrite of Lemuria. This has created more interesting characters that develop traits on their own and they have even started writing the story themselves.

This has also caused a few characters who shall remain namless to ruin everything.


Human behaviour

This actually helps with character development. I’ve been quite nosey into psychology and thrillers. Court room dramas. History. Turns out I might be trying to use this to create my characters.

This can actually be quite fun when you are creating characters…

…until you have to create the villian and need reasons for why they are psychopath…



I love mythology. Greek, Egyptian, Maori, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Norse.

Did I say I love it? I meant that whenever I see anything about it I’m trying to fit it in my novel. I can’t just enjoy it for the sake of researching it. Writing ruins everything.



This has become one of my special interests lately, along with Mythology. I have been studying the rise and fall of empires.

Oh, hey, do you know how I’ve done the world building for my epic fantasy novels? It’s just regular old modern day planet earth with my secret nations and empires slapped over top of it. So now I have to go into the history of the entire world to make it fit. Don’t do what I did.


My own faith

I pray and read my Bible to get closer to God.

Am I really? Or am I doing it to get ideas because I thought it would be funny to write a Kruschun Burk?

Is the book making me closer to my own faith or is my faith just being used to write the book? I don’t know anymore. I just want to write the book…


Random information

Do you know what the best part of writing is? You have to make something in your story work, so you have to drop everything to research it.

Now you have all this usless information that you only used once for a scene in a book. Yeh it’s fun to impress your friends with this usless info. But it really us random and usless and now it will always be in your head whenever you do or don’t need it.


Things that will make me walk out of your church

You’re not even Christian


You say you’re a church. You call yourselves Christians. Are you sure?

If you’ve been around the church lifestyle for a while, I’m sure you’ve heard of all them people who magically turned into cars after walking into a garage.

Anyone can say they are a Christian and they go to church. It’s too easy. I am a 40 year old gay Chinese man. See, it really works!

But if I don’t see the Christianity, your entire faith is hot air and meaningless mouth noises.

I go to church to see people gathered in the name of Jesus! So let me see it!

There is witchcraft in your church


No I don’t mean your church is full of green skinned women whose molecular structure completely disintegrates when it comes into contact with water. It’s 2018. Men can be witches too.

And it’s not just spells either.

Manipulating the world around you in unnatural ways, playing with powers you don’t know anything about and shouldn’t be playing with is witchcraft.

Do you know what is also witchcraft?

Word curses. “You will never do this you can’t do that you are this because of this and that which you have no control over”

You can speak them over yourself and live in unhappiness for the rest of your life.

What’s worse than that is speaking them over someone else. Disgusting. You are purpusfully casting witchcraft over someone.

So before you’re about to speak something like that over someone, shut you gob. Before someone shuts it for you. And that someone might not even be of this world so be careful when playing that dangerous witchcraft game!


You got the wrong spirit


Why is everyone rolling on the floor screaming?

Yeh, you have a spirit alright. There’s a chance it might not be the Holy one though. Haven’t seen him yet, but so far I have seen a Kundilini.

As I said in #1, anyone can say they are anything. There’s no reason this wouldn’t apply to spirits too.

So make sure you can recognise which spirits are in your church and only allow the ones you truly want.

And if you lie to and gaslight me about which spirit is in front of my face, bye. Your church could be dangerous.

You’ve set yourself up to fail in your ministries


I’m not talking about the pastorship or the elders or all the little things you’re doing outside the church. No, its not the music team either.

It’s your background workers. The backbone of your church. The ‘little people’ that actually keep the church running. I’m talking about the cleaners and the coffee bitches. I’m talking about the arthritic ushers that have been standing up for an hour before the service even started and need to take a sabbath or two in the days after. Oh, you thought the Sunday was the sabbath for these people? LOL!

Make sure the jobs are well allocated. If I see 10 jobs dumped onto one person, you no longer have a management role in the church. The job is now going to 83 year old Deidre who brings her three cats to church in a shopping cart and shows you the same Brag Book of her gay grandson every week, which is actually just filled with magizine cuttouts of five different celebrities. I think she will do a better job. Go sit in the back of the church and read your bible again while the adults are discussing the running of the church building.

If your team members are not respected, I’m not coming back to your church unless I’m bringing popcorn to watch the thing collapse in front of your face. Probably with the camera on my phone so that I can post it to a cringe compilation later.

Your healings/prophecies are fake


As a member of the disability community, I’ve met every fake healer in my country. I have yet to see a real healing in my lifetime. I have seen some good performances on stage, but never followed anyone up to see if there actually was any healing. All the ‘healings’ on YT are fake.

Healings from God isn’t a circus trick. God is very much caught up with modern tech, but he doesn’t heal just for a facebook vid.

Yeh, the leg growing trick is cool. Do you know who else I’ve seen doing tricks like that? Psychics who were exposed as fake. Do you know who else does tricks like that? My step-dad, the evangilist. He doesn’t do them as healings though, he does them as amature magic tricks to entertain his kids ministry.

The tricks themselves aren’t a bad thing. They’re actually entertaining. It’s when you lie to your audience that they are legit ‘healings’ that’s going to make me walk out. Lying in church is a nah from me.

All I’ve seen so far are stage shows. The only healing I’ve actually received from God was gradual, and most of my disabilities that have been prayed for have gotten worse anyway.

It’s gotten to the point where I’ve actually started refusing healings.

And since I now believe in the social model of disability, I demand they pray for something else. Like my first job at 28. Or for someone else, like peace and healing for a family member dying of cancer. Or poor little children in Africa. Funny how they never pray for my financial problems, but then shove the chuck bucket in my face. What you need money for, bub?

I have seen some legit prophets though. It might because I’m biased as I’m a massive prophecy nerd. But I’ve seen some legit prophets and I’ve seen fake ones.

I’ve seen prophets prophetizing all over the church. Prophetizing over people that there will be money and cars. That they know someone with a J in their name. Or was it a Z? An M? Anyone have a G in their name? Their prophecies are so legit that I’ve heard multiple fake psychics say the exact thing word for word. And they are all vague enough to apply to everyone so it must be true. And here comes the chuck bucket again.

I have seen prophets that straight up refused to accept any offerings or money from us, and requested that we put our money back into the church or a charity or something. They were always unsure if the word was coming from themself or the Spirit. Their prophecies were very specific and actually came true. Hmmm.

And speaking of chuck buckets.


You worship another god


You say you worship the God of the bible. Yet the rituals in your church are to other gods. When you offer your people prosperity in this world, then pass the chuck bucket around, you worship the demon god Mammon.

Mammon is the Prince of consumerism and toxic capitalism. He is destroying our culture with gluttony and waste. And he owns your pastors and your churches too.

Watch out for the demon Mammon.

Moloch is in churches also. He is the one they used to sacrifice babies to. I’m not even going to go into how he ended up in our churches.

Jezebel is supposed to be a big one also but I don’t know enough about her yet. She’s related to narcissism. She’s in our churches.

And of course, Lucifer himself is worshiped in your churches. If you know how to find him, you will see him. But he is there in many, many churches.


You can’t read


If you have a learning disability, I’m not talking to you in this paragraph.

I am talking to you if you act like never reading the bible is an achievement.

I am talking to you if you are ‘quoting verses’ that aren’t even in the bible and can’t even provide book, chapter, verse.

I’m talking to you if you ‘quote’ a verse and we have to ask you which holy text you got that from because the same verse in our bible says the complete opposite.

I’m talking to you if a verse about Jesus chopping onions for his tea is suddenly a commandment to round up all brown people into concentration camps.

Can you even read, bro? Were you high when you read this? How can I trust you if you can’t even read a damn bible?


You all smile like Ted Bundy

Honey, take this advice from an autistic: You’re not supposed to smile with your eyes wide open. It terrifies people. Also, having said expression plastered on your face all day is also terrifying. God did not tell you to look like someone just asked you if you killed all those women.

Christianity is not fake positivity. And fake positivity isn’t even healthy. I’ve seen fake positivity in the media. And the level of fake positivity in the church is something else. You’ve probably seen the psychopath/manic smiles in cults, where the signs of fake ‘happyness’ are painful to watch. Yes, some regular Christian churches do look this bad. And yours might be one of them

So I will be literally running from your church because its about to become a cult, or its just run by psychopaths who don’t know how to smile properly.

You’re scaring people away from the truth of Jesus. Do you even want to get the message out?


You’re getting zero converts because you can’t even communicate with humans anymore

How are you going to get your message out when you are so isolated that you don’t even speak the same language as the local population?

Yes you are allowed to use modern technology. Entertainment itself won’t send you straight to hell.

Also: It’s 2018. Technology isn’t a tool anymore. It’s part of the culture. We have mass media. The media is now part of our language and how we communicate.

The point of the church is to gather and spread a message. If you hog the message to yourself and can’t even communicate with the people outside your group, you’ve already failed.


You’re not a church


I’m seeing a lot of things. I’m seeing money making. I’m seeing gossip. I’m seeing judgment. I’m seeing mass hysteria probably caused by illegal drugs. I’m seeing enabeling of mental illness. Not seeing a lot of churching.


I’m glad I found the church I’m in and I can see great things in its future. But there are a lot of toxic things in church culture that we can probably afford to dump.


I try to post every weekend.

I also have a facebook

Life Update: 100 followers

I am writing this on Monday, even though my usual routine is posting on the weekend. Which I didn’t this week. Lol.

I’ve just hit 100 subscribers. My goal this year was to get one of my social media projects to 100 followers. It looked like this blog was the most likely to hit that number. This year I finally had a regular posting routine and actually had things to post.

A very special thanks to my readers and those responding to my posts. Hope you have a good holidays and a decent Christmas.

Important Life updates:

  • I have a brand new studio and will be planning some new projects for next year
  • I am officially driving on my own with a Restricted License
  • I could be a full-time carer by next year
  • Officially married as of September
  • I might be finally out of the Dole Years by next year

Blog goals after 100 subs:

I won’t be focusing on subs for this blog next year, instead, I will be working on my other platforms. I need to go back to DeviantArt and using YT and my Facebook page is in desperate need of an upgrade, lol. There will still be regular weekend updates on this blog. Eventually, this blog will be mostly essays on my other projects, on top of my usual essays on random things I’m interested in. Epic Christmas/New Years post will be coming later.

At this point, I’m also asking for your input. Is there anything you want to read more about on this blog? Leave it in the comments below.

Why all of you should observe the Sabbath

Yes, even if you’re not following any particular religion, even if you are agnosic or athiest you should be observing the sabbath, right now. And not just because God told you to.

Before you jump onto your keyboard screaming about church: first you might want to learn to read, then find me where in the bible it says ‘sabbath = go to church’. Because I’m a bible reading christian and haven’t found it yet.

Instead, Sabbath basically means ‘rest’. As in, drop everything and rest. No working. Even if it’s paid. Going to church is optional, but it is helpful having a day set aside for it!

The Sabbath was always officially held on the Saturday. Yes, Saturday, not Sunday. Anyone else saying otherwize is lying. But the aposltes stated it didn’t matter which day between the two you use to observe the sabbath, as long as you did it. Just take a day off. And worship if you need to.

Even God rested on the Sabbath, that’s how it was invented. If God needs a rest day, so do you, so take one.

Its not for the sake of a rule. If there is a sin being commited when you don’t observe it, the victim is yourself. God can set rules for yourself. Do you really want to deny yourself a break?

Today we are living in a toxic culture where success can no longer be measured by acheivments but how many massive burnouts it took to get there.

Look at your favorate celebs having meldowns and suddenly doing weird crap. Are they really ‘crazy’? Really? Or did the toxic culture of Hollywood do that to them? Marylin Monroe died because there was no #MeToo movment to support her. Just sayin. Look at their burnouts, their months in rehab, their mental health problems. This is what it looks like when you have no Sabbath.

The richest, most succesful people that have everything, are all really depressed. How many of them have a Sabbath?

What is worth go go go go go? No sit down for hours? Skipping multiple meals a day for the sake of time? Flaking everything because you are ‘too busy’, or just because you forget and forget and forget and forget because you are constantly double booked three days a week? Ending up in hospital from exhaustion and burnout from your multiple skipped meals? You better be getting some good coin. And you should be getting twice the coin if you never have a Sabbath.

I can’t tell you what to do though. I can’t tell you when to take one, just take one. Though I can tell you not to drag other people into your downward spiral of burnout, or expect everyone else to keep up with your inhuman level of self abuse, or blame anyone for your own ability to book your own scedual.


I won’t be the ‘tame autistic’ – The need for real Autistic involvement not just ticking a box

via I won’t be the ‘tame autistic’ – The need for real Autistic involvement not just ticking a box

Autistics Can’t Redux

A while ago I wrote Autistics Can’t a project to test the curses spoken over us to see if there were any truth to them. A lot has changed since then. Here is my updated list including where I am at with each entry.

This time I will give the entries a rating depending on the amount of truth in them.


Autistics Can’t:



Just got my Restricted Licence two days ago. I can now legally drive with my husband as a passenger, even while he doesn’t have a license. This has suddenly flung open the doors for opportunities I have been starved of.

For me this was a matter of whether or not I can ‘handle’ things. The only way I can correctly deal with this is to actually test to confirm one way or another, then I move forward with that info. Usually the only way I can do this is by not telling anyone.

Not testing is just a waste of life to me.

I just drove to the mall by myself yesterday. I know many other autistics who have their learners or restricted. I know many who have no license at all. Why is the driving process so slow for autistics? Is it actually related to autism itself? I give this entry a rating of Whopping Porkies.


Get a Job/Get Paid


I have worked just for experience. Never been paid a cent for a regular day job. Though I know a number of autistics who are hopping in and out of jobs to grab pay, waiting to be replied to, getting fired for no reason, chasing the next part-time/contract, in and out of low pay menial jobs because no-one else will hire them.

I haven’t truly tested this one yet. I give this a rating of Untested.




My husband and I just recently visited Christchurch for a week. We crashed at his dads house and went in and out of town on the bus by ourselves. We got on the plane by ourselves. We packed our own luggage.

Before that we spent 5 days in Queenstown for our honeymoon. That’s catching multiple planes on our own. Finding where to get picked up from the airport on our own. Staying at the holiday home on our own. Walking to town on our own. Do you get the picture yet? It is because of this honeymoon that my husband got into his head that he doesn’t want anymore live in carers. I say, lets not do anything too fast. But all this is a fair indication of how well the two of us can travel. And we hope to travel more. When we have the money.

I give this a rating of Absolute Bullsh!t


Publish a book


Still writing it. I plan to actually chase down some agents overseas though.

Though I know of many autistics who have written books (and I’ve read them) I give this entry a rating of Untested.


Own a home


I married into owning a house. Does that count?

I give this a rating of I’m Irrelevant.


Get Married


Oh piss off. Don’t tell me you got this far through the list and don’t know my rating for this one.

If you want to know how valid ‘Autistics Can’t Get Married’ is ask my husband.
I give this a rating of Piss off, Lying POS


Have Sex



I give this a well tested rating of Shut Your Lying Gob


Other optional entries Just Coz:


  • Get a tattoo
  • Go to the Armageddon expo
  • Have work in the Art Expo, Nelson
  • Create something for the Arts Festival
  • Visit New Orleans
  • Cosplay!
  • Visit England and Scotland
  • Have a real art studio
  • Attend a Sweet Adelines International Convention
  • Get my ears pierced again
  • Run a buisness
  • Dye my hair purple


Past Well Tested Acheivments


Live independantly

Finish school

If you have tried this yourself please leave a comment!

Don’t move to Hollywood

There is a huge problem in Hollywood at the moment and I don’t know if they are even talking about it.

How much is Hollywood talking about Mental Health? Is it common knowledge yet that Hollywood is a massively toxic culture?

We look up to these stars too much and dream of being where they are, and we also don’t. Because now we know what Hollywood does to our favorite stars. And we don’t want to be there, even though we secretly do.


Hollywood gives its stars the biggest houses, the best cars, the top careers, but at a price. How many of our stars will be dying of old age? How many of them have already died of drug overdoses, drunk driving, suicide, heart attacks? Is it possible for a celebrity to die any other way?


How many of your favorite stars have sold out? How many of them have burnt out and had a breakdown, ended up in rehab, became a social media joke? That doesn’t just come from nowhere. Why are they plastering on a fake face to slap on a product they don’t even care about selling?

Do you really think most of the profits go to the star? How much of their time is actually spent making someone else money?

Is making fun of Charlie Sheen called for?


They are walking on the eggshells of our entitlement. When someone shot up Adriana Grande’s concert she profusely apologized to her audience. What did you do wrong, Adriana? Nothing! Did you shoot up the concert yourself? Someone should be apologizing to you for ruining something you put so much work into!


It’s not a conspiracy theory, it is official now. Hollywood is run by peadophiles and rapists. They’ve been getting away with it for decades. Hollywood throws money at it to cover it up. The predators probably found some legal loophole where they can literally buy their victims. It’s not new. We’re just finally talking about it. Do we still want to join Hollywood? Do we want to pay these people to rape their stars? Would it be worth boycotting the work of rapists?


Maybe the Illuminati is real. Maybe this is it.

If you are a celeb and you are reading this: Please take a holiday! For your own sake!

The Truth About Getting Hitched While Disabled

From my own personal experience, as I just got married a bit more than 2 weeks ago. I learned a number of things that I am surprised aren’t being talked about outside the disability community. (But then, Mainstream is always painfully, and sometimes dangerously late to the bandwagon)

So here is the one blog post where I overshare the most. This intro was your final warning, lol.


Yes. We have sex, FFS

Disabled people get randy AF. I’ve heard Downs will go at it like rabbits.

Disabled people shag. Get over it. Wheelchair users use the disabled toilets more often for a root than for its intended purpose. I can’t back that statement up, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it were true.

Can we stop pretending that all disabled people are asexual? And when it is bought up, its played as a joke, like its funny that disabled people actually know how to shag. Or it’s played as some shocking drama about disabled people having sex! Should they have sex? Lets wrap the entire plot around disabled people and concent! Or the story ends sadly because disabled people shagging arent allowed to have a happy ending. (Not a pun, shut up.) The only joke here should be at the expense of abled people, for being so retarded that disability and shagging is still shocking to them.


The ‘Achievment‘ of marriage in general

An achievement for an able bodied person is finding the right kind of person for them to settle down with, find the right home, create an empire with their partner quickly, have a few kids, retire in a nice house surrounded by their memories together.

An ‘achievement’ for a disabled person is getting married at all.

Should it be though?

Should a common comment in speeches at my wedding be “I’m surprised anyone bothered to marry him/her”?

Because we share the same interests?

Because we are concerned about the same things?

How about just because he’s cute?

Why should this be the same for any milestone of adulthood that we finally reach years too late?


The prep

I’m not talking about the venue. I’m not talking about the dress. I’m not talking about the guest list.

I’m talking about constantly in and out and in and out and in and out of the WINZ office for months. I’m talking about the meetings and meetings and meetings at meetings with everyones team of support workers to bash out your care needs plan, which will probably be chucked out the minute you get home from your honeymoon because it is now irrelevant and useless.

I’m talking about cancelling everything for the entire day so you can sit in the WINZ office for hours while WINZ completely contradicts what they told you last week.

And the prep doesn’t end after you get married. We’ve probably spent more time in the WINZ office than planning the actual wedding.


Marriage ‘Equallity’

Finally in 2018, gay couples have the legal right to marry. You are all cheering.

So when do disabled people get ours?

“But…” you all scream “It’s not illigal for disabled people to get married!”

Is it not?

Some couples literally can’t get married. After benefit cuts, they’re suddenly earning less than what they had when they were single. Did yo miss the paragraph about our entire marriage prep being spent in and out of the WINZ office? And with many other roadblocks to marriage that reek of eugenics, I fail to see how disabled people could possibly have marriage equality in 2018. Most disability marriages end in divorce, even though their relationship is perfectly fine because both parties will be better off financially. So don’t insult me with that joke about disabled folk having ‘marriage equality’. What equality?


There is a lot more I can say about marriage, but I think its all for another post. Thanks for reading!

What I learned from the Flea Market

I recently had my first experience selling some of my handcrafts at the local market.

The Saturday fleamarket is $50 per week, so I went with the Sunday at $20 per week.

I made a $15 loss.

But here is everything I learned from that day.


My first goal was to churn out recycled hand crafts to create an income to buy art supplies. From the start, I was aiming to sell at a physical market, but then I got screaming from all directions that I had to sell directly from Facebook. So in this blog, I’m also going to compare the two.

I’ve used the FB market place, I’ve also spammed my FB artist page about selling items. I have used trademe.

Facebook market place: Free

Physical flea market: $20 per week

So far the only thing I have sold online are used video games and DVDs. However, any of my pieces that may have taken days to create have 10 views in 2 months and no comments after dropping the price three times. Meanwhile, my fiance chucks up an appliance, stating that it is broken and has three messages within minutes asking when they can pick it up and they will even give him $50. For a broken appliance. $20 for a painting that can fit in the palm of my hand that I spent hours on? TOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUUCCHHHHH.

I have found FB market place is great if you want to get rid of stuff. I will be using it to sell stuff locally. But for selling something you created, or to build a business it is a complete utter FAIL.

Do be warned: Some of FB marketplace groups attract bludgers with their hands out expecting free free free. If you want to make an actual profit, aim for the actual marketplace groups, there may be specific groups for actually selling created work, but I’ve never used them because selling on the internet nearly gives me a seizure or something. If you are just looking to get rid of crap and don’t care about making any money, local marketplace groups are great, so are garage sale and pay-it-forward groups.

The difference between this and a physical boot market is day and night.

You are there half the day and you are getting FAR more eyeballs than you got on FB for months. I’ve also noticed people actually commenting on my work, which is the very first time after those same objects sat on FB for weeks. I got a lot of ideas for further markets, while my FB market remains stagnant in complete silence, no feedback.

I made a $15 loss. But I actually sold something. How much did I sell on free FB again? Apart from 2nd hand DVDs that still sat there for a week? Nothing.


And before the shrieking winges of but maaaaaaaaarketiiiiiiiiing you’re not tryyyyyyyyyyyyyyiiiiiiiiing. I was haemorrhaging energy spamming FB for months and got radio silence. All I did at the book market was sit there and say ‘hi’ and got an immediate response. IRL communication is vastly superior to social media. Sometimes I didn’t even need to look at people, let alone say anything, to be communicated with about my product.

I did try. Didn’t work. Why shouldn’t I continue what did work?

Trying the same thing over and over that doesn’t work, isn’t entrepreneurship, it isn’t business, it is stupidity and insanity. And you would have to be even more stupid to chuck out what did work in favour of what didn’t.


I’ve only done this bootmarket once but I guess results can vary depending on the day. If it’s raining, good luck lol.

It pays to have a variety of stuff. I would recommend a few big things and many small things. I got that tip from many other artists and it seems like a really good idea. Your smaller cheaper things will sell like hotcakes because most people will be looking for something small and affordable. Don’t have too many bigger things, they are less likely to sell. Folks who go through markets expecting to blow a lot of money on a big piece come in very small numbers.

What you will need for a day at the market:

  • Table
  • Table cloth
  • Chair (“I’ll just stand” for at least four hours? Bring a chair!)
  • Tarp (optional but very useful)
  • Tent (semi-optional, you can buy it later with your profits. Never had one but I can see how they are worth every cent. Especially in the summer and when it’s raining.)
  • Food and drink (not optional! Must bring an entire picnic of your favourite snack foods! And a hot drink or two! And maybe wine!)
  • Container for cash (Important!!!!)
  • Trays & containers to hold small items
  • Price tags

I made my price tags out of cut up cereal boxes, cardboard tags from clothing and cheap twine I had lying around. My goal was to spend as little as possible on packaging. I assume there are no rules for price tags in most boot markets. Get creative. I’ve seen someone selling earrings stuck through playing cards. I’m tempted to buy some next time I see her.

Also, again, you are there for half the day. That’s hours. You need to be prepared for that.


In conclusion, I would recommend a physical market over an internet one. You might make a loss, but at least you will be actually selling. It’s also good experience and you can learn quite a bit (as I did!) which is why this one time was so valuable even though I made a loss.


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