Writing update

So I wrote a novel and then spent the next few years looking at publishing options. I may like to have an agent someday, but after years of looking at my options I don’t think I have what I need to get the agent I’m looking for.

I have decided to self publish (Nearly every writer in NZ has started with Self-pub as a. I can count on one hand the number of legit NZ agents interested in my genre and b. we have no legit publishing companies anymore.)

It’s going up on Smashwords first and then probably Createspace. The only issue is I’m not quite sure if it is ready to go up yet.

So I am considering putting it up on Wattpad first. I have researched all these sites. If I put it up on Wattpad it can be read for free. I am hoping to get some helpful comments on it as I do need a bit of critique on the story itself.

Right now the story is more important to me than the money I could potentially make off it.

It is also a good way to find an audience.

Part or all of it may be removed from the site later once I get more serious about publishing it.

I will update if anything happens.

A gritty Reboot

I don’t know how long it has been since I posted. I’m too scared to look.

G’day its just me again…

This blog is old. So I thought I would revive it with a new topic. I’m calling this How To Make Money. I’m not sure for how long or how regular the updates will be.

This is going to be kind of a lifestyle blog. But I will try not to be too narcissistic and will try to offer some useful informations.

Maybe information on How To Make Money, like some of them internet millionaire money gurus. But, there is a pretty big catch.

Some background:

I was the first in my entire family to finish school completely. My sister was the first to actually pass NCEA, but that’s another story.

I have a Certificate in Arts and Media from NMIT. It took me three years to get it because I was actually trying for a Degree. But I am happy with what I learned at polytech. I went there to learn about art.

I spent the next 7 years on the dole and volunteering at various places. Right now I’m in an opshop for the SPCA. I’ve never worked in a shop before and it’s for the little animals so I am achieving something there.

I can almost count the number of my official diagnosis on both hands. Maybe one day I will. They are mild enough that I can work. Where this ‘work’ is would be another question entirely.

Considering my experience and abilities my options are basically minimum wage shop floor, and maccas. I’m aiming for part time.

So here is the catch:

I don’t actually have any money.

I don’t know how to make any.

I am giving you this for free.

Meanwhile I’ve been working on various art projects and writing. None have made any money, let alone put food on the table. Relying on it as a main source of income while on the dole is deadly and suicidal.

But then one day I was hit by some epiphany. I don’t know where it came from or why it happened now. I’ve been needing a massive change for a while, and it needs to happen by the time I turn 30 (three years to go!).

I decided I can’t live like this anymore. I suddenly had a few ideas of where to start. This blog being one of them. I don’t know where this will go or even if I continue after this very post. I’m hoping it will document my journey to somewhere.

This blog isn’t just about money.

I’m writing this to (hopefully) improve myself. And maybe I can use these improvements outside of money.

And there is another catch:

I would rather not spend hours talking about things I will never do. Which is why I won’t update much. Some of us have to work to put food on the table. And if this blog isn’t putting food on the table, you get it when I damn post it!

I have a few personal goals which might be a good start.

To have basic needs met without the benefit.

Eventually, to not have to Live to Work.

A small house.


You need goals, people! There must be something you wouldn’t mind having.

I’m a Special Snowflake. I’m different from the other Get Rich Quick Gurus on the internet.

Firstly, I will specifically attempt to not just talk about myself. But this is a personal-life-blog, so get over it.

I will tell you all the secrets to buying a mansion and a Lamborghini! Just give me $300 and you can have it all! But there’s a catch:

I just want a small house with a garage, because we might as well keep it simple from here. And there will be no car at all due to my boycott of the motorist industry which might be another blog one day.

So no, I guess I won’t show you how to get the mansion or the Lamborghini. I will show you how to rent of your parents and then join Freemasonry just to find the adult tricycle you desperately needed for mobility reasons after a couple years of searching. That’s another blog.

But I will tell you the secrets of them money gurus. How they earned enough to rent that car and rent that mansion. Millions of people are paying them $300 each. Guess what for. Lol. All that adds up. They made their millions by telling people their get rich quick schemes to earning millions. You’re paying for those rents! And that’s another blog post!

But its free to read this blog. You don’t need to give me anything for any of this information. There might be ads on the site one day though.

This is about How to Make Money. And I need to make money.

I will show you my secrets. By actually DOING them. I am going to show you what happened and what I actually think about it. What worked and what didn’t.

And there may be other topics on this blog as well if I need to write some massive novel about something.

Which makes this some kind of journal. So don’t show anyone the bits about boys, I know where you live. (not really, you might have to remind me)

And this is also a creative outlet. So that’s nice. I could do with another one that doesn’t pay me.

Pray for me, that I will get some more ideas for blogs and stuff and actually write them down. I hope I can write something useful one day.

Thank you for reading. I hope I find the future of this blog useful and I guess you might too. Can’t make any promises though. This has been a Get-Rich-Quick blog from someone who has no money.

Crap Aspies say

This is my first “___ ___s say” video. I love these kinds of videos and I hope you enjoy this one. Some of this is me and some of it is my aspie friends. Well all of it is me kind of and some of it may not exactly be aspie traits…


The Autistics inner monologue


I’m back on the topic of autism again. Yay!🙂 And to prove my autism card I’ve been doing what auties do best, shutting everyone out to think of something interesting. Inner monologues. I’m assuming you have one, I know its a very common trait in autism. Non-verbal autistics can have really interesting ones. And now I really want to make a list of all the possible inner monologues found in autism, mostly to see how many I can come up with in no particular order. Disclaimer: All of these are probably different for everyone. I use ‘autistic’ to cover most if not all of the spectrum.

1. The default main voice

That one that everyone has. This description will be terrible since I’m convinced it’s different for everyone. You know that voice that is just whatever is going on at the time.

2. Pictures

Many auties describe their mind as ‘not thinking in words but in pictures’. Autistics such as Temple Grandon can be found in this category. She often describes it as when someone says something she sees an image in her head. For example when hearing the word ‘miracle’ she sees an image of Jesus. The movie based on her depicts this monologue personally.

3. Music

Many musical auties can have music in their head 24/7. Many talented music creators can even do entire compositions in their head. Some may not think in words but in music. There may be non-verbal autistics with great skill in music.

4. The animal monologue

This can also include 2 and 3. Basically an autistic human…with the thought process of a cat or something. Literally. It doesn’t take any effort for anyone with this monologue to know everything an animal is thinking about. Because like 2 there are no words in their inner monologue. Those with this monologue are more likely to have meltdowns due to too much human noise and crap. But they can make good pet owners (or pets for cats since no-one truly ‘owns’ a cat).

5. I hate you

Or any variant. One of my favorites, really lifts the general mood. This one is always 24/7. Often root cause of depressive states. Self explanatory.


Some of my autie friends have mentioned this as their inner monologue. Another of my favorites. Also 24/7. I think I’ve had this a few times. Also self explanatory.

7. The Pink Floyd concert

Because it’s my favorite band. And also because some auties have described some kind of hippy rainbow thing of rainbows and sound and bubbles. Can also include 2 and 3. Maybe some of 6 but in a happy tone? If that’s possible?

I just use Pink Floyd as the title of this one since it’s the closest thing outside the autie that I can think of to describe it. Can also be called the Beatles or Hippy Sh**

Personally I am convinced that this could actually be another dimention.

8. The artist

Basically the process of creating without the need of a visual diary or an art journal. Some have access to a number of images in their mind (see 2)

Also possible in non-artists. No need for journals or planners or mindmaps.

This can even take seconds. Here I’ve come up with a theory that there may be no time in some autistic inner monologues.

9. The social monologue

This includes Social Scripting. Another one of my favorites and also 24/7 with anything social.

What do I have to say next? What is the correct response? Where should my eyes be? What position should my hands be in? What tone should this word be in? Should I do this? Should I have done that? What does that mean? Is this good? Is this bad? Are you over this monologue yet? Do you hate yourself yet? Do you want to kill yourself yet? Also includes 5. And also 6.

Often needs to be shut up when there are already other monologues going, especially 5 and 6. Which of course leads to a mute autie. This can also happen with there is no social scripting for something.

10. Films and TV shows (can also include theatre!)

Some auties can remember most of what they see. Probably one of the most fun monologues. Also includes 2 and 3. Unfortunate my one is only good for stupid TV advertisements or the occasional Monty Python skit😦

11. Special interest

Most may have a monologue including something they’re interested in. This description is short as results may vary quite a lot. Were talking about interests here.

12. Nothing

13. Mine includes my novel series! An Epic Sci-fi fantasy set in 1980s NZ! Dragons and vampires! Last draft will be out soon! Looking for a publisher or an agent!


13. All the ones I forgot

Leave a comment below if you can think of more.


If you have any one or two or three of these, you’re probably not autistic.

To get the official diagnosis one would have ALL the monologues listed. At the same time. Usually 24/7. And including #13.

No wonder we have so many problems.


What the Autistic Inner Monologue may not include:

– Things like what shall I have for tea tonight? (We decide on our best cooking when it gets to teatime. Toast!!!)

– Housewife stuff (I don’t know any of these ones because I tried and woke up two days later in hospital from mild brain damage. I am still single and childless.)

– Any of the answers to 9

– Anyone else inner monologue but their own (because that would be called telepathy, which isn’t even a natural occurrence in any human being, let alone auties. We’re autistic, not X-men)

– Sometimes sports (An autistic either likes sports or absolutely despises it. There is no in between.)


What is you’re Inner Monologue experience? Which Inner Monologues do you have? Leave a comment below.

G’day it’s me again.

Another of my videos just hit 100 views

My YouTube journey has been cool so far. I hope I can have more fun with it in the future. It’s a great to vlog and stuff on there.

I’ve been a fan of vloggers for a while and have only recently jumped on the YT bandwagon (I’m a bit slow).

I just made myself a facebook fanpage to post my art and YT and stuff.

I’m hoping my internet presence will cure my social retardation.

I’ve been praying a lot and I decided that this is the year when I get crap done.

I totally believe God has a plan for me and I hope I’m going in the right direction. To be honest I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going but it seems fun.

At the moment I’m still unemployed. I get a bit of money on the Invalids Benifit which goes towards food and rent. I’m ok with the benefit as it is. If I did want more money I would get a job. I’ve decided to stay this way for a while to focus on my art and stuff and I believe that the workplace isn’t for everyone. At the moment I’m trying to look after myself and get to know how my energy levels work.

I find I’m a bit happier than usual, one of my theories is that I have an actual routine for the first time in my life. It takes me a while to figure things out. I’ve just recently discovered that I’ve made surprisingly good things once I just slowed the frack down! I’ve been trying to vlog for years, wrote scripts for them and everything. Once I slowed my speech down to the point I sounded drunk and used no script I finally made a video I actually liked. I’ve noticed I went back to my regular talking speed in my makeup video. Not even I could understand anything I said in it. Oops😦 It was fun anyway, and I’m going to use it as an example for you to see what my social personality is like.

I hope you guys enjoy what I make because I’m having fun doing it and I want you guys to have fun too. Let me know what you think in the comments🙂


G’day it’s me again. Recently I looked at my YouTube to find that I got my first 100 views on one video:

In other news I’m starting a new video series about my art process:


A Filofax update

I’ve been enjoying my YouTube journey so far. My latest video was a Filofax update. Hope you enjoy this one🙂

And here is an old blog post from when I first got it.


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